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I was going to make this a health filter post but since there's nothing super private/TMI and I've been so quiet lately, I might as well make it public since no better update is likely to come up any time soon.

( Meds, mods, moods )

Currently happily sitting under a 9kg blanket I only paid $35 for, when every other local shop I could find was like $50 for something much lighter or $100+ for something this heavy. It's just polyester and we'll see how it holds up long term but I really didn't want to pay a lot for something I wasn't even sure I'd like. The price seems to have gone up to $60, I guess they were having a sale? That's still pretty good, though, and there's a nice range of other options.

It's via a 'market partner' but I didn't have to pay extra for postage, even though it was delivered separately, no idea if that's always the case. I looked up the bedding company and it costs MORE to buy from them directly??

I only discovered it because I was ordering something else and Bunnings has fixed postage, so I was putting random things I wanted into the search bar. For non-Australians: they're a gardening and hardware store, so not a typical place to get blankets! They also sold the USB cable I wanted, so it was definitely a successful shop :)

I've only had it a few hours so can't say what overall effect it will have on my anxiety but I do feel pretty good right now. If warm, it'll likely be more pleasant when it's not mid-Summer.

I try and mention any significant health stuff outside my health filter, and this is definitely significant. It's the worst anxiety and depression I've had while medicated, maybe even the worst since I started getting treatment 10 years ago.
( Read more... )

The result of reading other people's posts and conversations with other people etc.
( About self esteem and social issues, nothing super dark )

I'm currently on 60g a day and have:
30mg (standard pill)
10mg: 3 pills
5mg: 9 pills
15mg: 5 pills
40mg: 12 pills

One site said go down at 10% a month, another 10-20mg a day. So I'm going to do what seems mathematically easiest: 50 (30+15+5), then 45 (30+15), then 40 (40) over the next 3 days, stay at 40 for a week then go to 30. All depending on how I cope with withdrawal of course!

I can get more of the smaller doses compounded, but I might as well start with what I have.

The reason for going off it is I have my life more under control and thus the side effects have become more irritating than my anxiety. At least, that's the way it seems from here, we'll see how I feel once it starts wearing off.

Since I am awake at 4am with random free floating anxiety (I'm not thinking anxious thoughts, just AWAKE and jittery), some sleepy updates.

Got my passport renewed, it took several attempts to get all my hair in frame.

Bought a spare wheelchair recharger and got my battery replaced, did I mention that? I am now able to go on long trips again! Except I've been trained to freak out every time it goes down a bar, which makes them mildly fraught.

Still staying at Lily's, her cats have gotten quite used to us now and one in particular (Miel, the ridiculously friendly Burmese) is pretty much a fixture in our room since it has at least one human in most of the time. The problem with Miel is she flops on you and falls asleep with such an expression of bliss that you can't bear to move, even if she's flopped on you in the middle of, say, tying your shoelaces. The other cats are less friendly until one of us starts cooking meat at which point we are SUDDENLY THE BEST HUMANS EVER. (In the case of Greta, who hates everyone, this means getting within her minimum 1m distance from all humans and briefly softening her permanent glare into a friendly blink. The other two snuggle as close as possible with big sad starving orphan eyes)

Finished the beta version of my time travel visual novel OMG. Nice to actually finish something.

We have started watching Sailor Moon at video night. It is very silly and dated so far but enjoyable in it's way. The cats find the presence of SO MANY HUMANS very exciting.

House stuff continues slowly. We should hear back on pre-approval on Monday which is POSSIBLY one reason for my anxiety.

My Flight Rising flight is doing an exalting push soon, I have all these babies waiting to be exalted. I have to stop myself getting attached, especially to the ones I had to name to level them up.

Caught up with Legend of Korra at last! It was ok, better than the end of Book 1 but I didn't love it. Not sure why.

Can't bring myself to watch Person of Interest. If I don't watch the next episode I can convince myself the last one didn't happen.

Family "Christmas" is looking to be interesting now that Mum is Jewish. None of the rest of us have cared about the "Christ" part for ages but it used to be a major part for her, and she is quite specifically NOT celebrating Christmas now. Instead we are celebrating 22nd of Tevet (the date in the Jewish Calendar) and it's not clear if there will be gifts (I kind of hope not, gifts are a hassle). I wished her a happy Hannukkah but got the dates wrong, clearly I need to bone up on my Jewish holidays.