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alias_sqbrI really don't want to jinx it, so I won't say I'm better, but even if this is a temporary reprieve it feels pretty good!
Can't be bothered making a separate post for the health filter, so here's all the boring details.
I'm having to be very careful with myself, I keep thinking "I feel great, I should be productive" then remembering that while I feel comparatively great compared to the last few weeks, by my normal standards I'm still mildly to moderately depressed and anxious, and still prone to being overwhelmed by sad feelings. But anywhere near as prone, and not anywhere near as sad, so, yay.
I'm still notably worse in the mornings. I tried taking my morning meds later to see if it made any difference, and still felt worse before I took them, but it could still be some complex reaction to something I'm taking. The only notable new thing I've started lately is the fancy probiotic from dad, so I stopped that, but the correlation to my ups and downs is vague enough that I think it's a coincidence and might try starting it again.
It feels like a big trigger is the point where I go "Ok time to wake up and face the day!", so I've been a bit gentler about that which I think helped? Also uneven sleep seems to make things worse, and since I have been feeling bouncy at night I've been knocking myself out with melatonin. Today's the first day in a while where I didn't lose the whole morning to depression naps, which may help with the even sleep? We'll see.
It feels like I dealt with the psychological aspect of this downswing a while ago, and since then have just been waiting for my brain chemicals to calm the hell down as my psychic wounds heal. I'm still sad about the stuff I was sad about, but it's a sadness I can live with more easily. I kind of feel like there's still more unaddressed stuff in my head that might knock me down again at some point, and of course something new and upsetting could come out of nowhere. But there's no knowing if and when that will happen, so. I'll take the relative happiness for now.
Can't be bothered making a separate post for the health filter, so here's all the boring details.
I'm having to be very careful with myself, I keep thinking "I feel great, I should be productive" then remembering that while I feel comparatively great compared to the last few weeks, by my normal standards I'm still mildly to moderately depressed and anxious, and still prone to being overwhelmed by sad feelings. But anywhere near as prone, and not anywhere near as sad, so, yay.
I'm still notably worse in the mornings. I tried taking my morning meds later to see if it made any difference, and still felt worse before I took them, but it could still be some complex reaction to something I'm taking. The only notable new thing I've started lately is the fancy probiotic from dad, so I stopped that, but the correlation to my ups and downs is vague enough that I think it's a coincidence and might try starting it again.
It feels like a big trigger is the point where I go "Ok time to wake up and face the day!", so I've been a bit gentler about that which I think helped? Also uneven sleep seems to make things worse, and since I have been feeling bouncy at night I've been knocking myself out with melatonin. Today's the first day in a while where I didn't lose the whole morning to depression naps, which may help with the even sleep? We'll see.
It feels like I dealt with the psychological aspect of this downswing a while ago, and since then have just been waiting for my brain chemicals to calm the hell down as my psychic wounds heal. I'm still sad about the stuff I was sad about, but it's a sadness I can live with more easily. I kind of feel like there's still more unaddressed stuff in my head that might knock me down again at some point, and of course something new and upsetting could come out of nowhere. But there's no knowing if and when that will happen, so. I'll take the relative happiness for now.
