I think I have to admit ACOS is over

[alias_sqbr]

(For those who aren't aware, ACOS is A Circle of Stars, a fantasy webcomic I wrote slowly but regularly for several years before it petered out and went on long term hiatus)

So I was wondering where all this inspiration to write Dragon Age fic was coming from, and I realised the setting was giving me a chance to use all these half finished fantasy ideas that have been knocking around my brain for years, including some from ACOS.

And I thought about why I don't feel able to use that creative energy/those ideas with ACOS (I had been thinking "Because I'm sick!" but I'm beginning to think the correlation is mostly coincidence), and comparing how differently I felt about the two settings made me realise just how much I've written myself into a corner.

I've been writing the worldbuilding, the backstory and the plot of ACOS all at the same time, and changing any one has knock-on effects on the others. To begin with this was awesome, worldbuilding and historical research gave me cool ideas for the backstory, the backstory gave me ideas for the plot, thinking about what I needed for the plot gave me ideas for the worldbuilding etc. But once enough details started being set things started to clash, and I kept going around in circles, making changes to fix one hole only to create another.

Also, something I've realised about myself as I've started writing more is that I have pretty much no motivation to work on stories that aren't mostly happy once I get past my initial inspiration, so unless they're very short they never get finished. But that was ok, ACOS was mostly a happy story modulo some darkish moments here and there.

Except that the closer I got to the happy ending I had planned the less I believed it. Any plots I came up with to fill out the vague outline I came up with at the beginning either contradicted the way the comic has changed since then, weren't overall happy, or were just..stupid and dull and nonsensical.

A lot of this is the result of backstory that hasn't made it into the comic, which means my readers will be able to imagine happy endings much more easily than I can (well, if they ignore this post :) Assuming I have any readers left...). What of the remaining plot I still feel fits the story was going to make the characters lives worse before it got better, and without the confidence that I can bring them out of that I just don't feel like writing it. I like these characters, I'd rather leave canon open and imagine there's some nebulous happy ending for everyone than set things in stone and make them canonically sadder.

So, yeah. Sorry about that to anyone who was still waiting :(

It's certainly sharpened my resolve to as much as possible finish stories within one bout of inspiration. There's a reason my most recent DA fic is a series of vignettes, any one of which could make an adequate ending place. I think I'm relatively safe with Wedding Is Destiny since it's a romance and requires no worldbuilding so I'm less likely to find myself ending up anywhere unexpected. Still, the possibility that that will end up unfinished for similar reasons does bother me. I'd hate to have to realise I'm worse than Isobelle Carmody. (Why I don't keep long works in progress to myself until they're finished is a whole other post)

Comments

[nico-wolfwood.livejournal.com]

Aw!

I totally get why you don't want to write it any more and I understand exactly what you mean about getting to a point where you've written yourself into a corner and don't know what to do.

I was still waiting for a happy ending but I think it's fine this way - I'll just remember that you planned a happy ending so they'll be happy eventually, in the nebulous unwritten future :)

[alias_sqbr]

Good plan :)

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

Aww. I kinda knew this was coming, but even still. :(

[alias_sqbr]

Me too :(