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[personal profile] alias_sqbr
So, Baz Lurhman is making a new movie called "Australia". It's apparently an epic story with a huge budget and superstar cast about a stockman (Hugh Jackman) and (I kid you not) and english lady (Nicole Kidman) running a cattle station during World War Two.

I and Cam got into a discussion about the particular variety of terrible it was likely to be and started making predictions. I thought it'd be fun to get other people to do the same, then when it comes out we can see how right/wrong we were. Join in!


  • The Lady will be strong willed and feisty.. yet fragile
  • The Stockman will be tough and no-nonsense.. yet gentle and with a passionate heart
  • There will be a scene where she tries to dosomething with a cow (like milking) and fails utterly. He will laugh, and then help her.
  • There will be a mean banker trying to repossess the property (since confirmed by further reading on wikipedia)
  • There will be an arrogant city person who thinks they know better than the simple country folk who will be proven wrong (probably either the banker or the Lady)
  • There will be little to no resemblance to actual cattle farming, country life, real history etc
  • The epic timescale will leave no time for complex or interesting plots, so there'll just be lots of contrived melodrama
  • There will be a quirky Token Aboriginal Australian who will be mistreated by the Bad Guys but be treated with anachronistically modern respect and decency by the Good Guys. (on further reading: a token magical aboriginal australian. Who sings)
  • There will be a sad moment as we reflect on how badly aboriginal people are treated, but overall the whole thing will be ignored
  • We will have an emotional moment watching a cow either die or be born (or both!)
  • There will be cardboard cutout Evil Japanese Caricatures
  • There will be an evil englishman (my theory, Cam disagrees)
  • It will end with whoever is left alive all old and nostalgic in a bittersweet meditation on loss (also my theory)

Re: my predictions

Date: 2008-01-23 03:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capnoblivious.livejournal.com
I have wondered if this film is the result of a bet between Luhrman and someone else as to who can make the most cynical, cliche-ridden mess that people will still pay money to see...

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