Australia: The Movie (the game)

[alias_sqbr]

So, Baz Lurhman is making a new movie called "Australia". It's apparently an epic story with a huge budget and superstar cast about a stockman (Hugh Jackman) and (I kid you not) and english lady (Nicole Kidman) running a cattle station during World War Two.

I and Cam got into a discussion about the particular variety of terrible it was likely to be and started making predictions. I thought it'd be fun to get other people to do the same, then when it comes out we can see how right/wrong we were. Join in!

• The Lady will be strong willed and feisty.. yet fragile
  
• The Stockman will be tough and no-nonsense.. yet gentle and with a passionate heart
  
• There will be a scene where she tries to dosomething with a cow (like milking) and fails utterly. He will laugh, and then help her.
  
• There will be a mean banker trying to repossess the property (since confirmed by further reading on wikipedia)
  
• There will be an arrogant city person who thinks they know better than the simple country folk who will be proven wrong (probably either the banker or the Lady)
  
• There will be little to no resemblance to actual cattle farming, country life, real history etc
  
• The epic timescale will leave no time for complex or interesting plots, so there'll just be lots of contrived melodrama
  
• There will be a quirky Token Aboriginal Australian who will be mistreated by the Bad Guys but be treated with anachronistically modern respect and decency by the Good Guys. (on further reading: a token magical aboriginal australian. Who sings)
  
• There will be a sad moment as we reflect on how badly aboriginal people are treated, but overall the whole thing will be ignored
  
• We will have an emotional moment watching a cow either die or be born (or both!)
  
• There will be cardboard cutout Evil Japanese Caricatures
  
• There will be an evil englishman (my theory, Cam disagrees)
  
• It will end with whoever is left alive all old and nostalgic in a bittersweet meditation on loss (also my theory)
  

Comments

[hulzie.livejournal.com]

I'll forgive everything else as long as they show us the origins of Wolverine.

Not sure this fits but...

[greteldragon.livejournal.com]

She'll retain her amazing super good looks, even after working several incredibly tough days/years on the farm. This may or may not be with a dirt streak smudged attractively across her cheek.


Actually this may be under bears little to no resemblance...

Australia: The Movie (the game) (the post) (the comment)

[penchaft.livejournal.com]

(I got nothing)

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

A train wreck... to show that the producers are aware of what they're making. :)

[capnoblivious.livejournal.com]

We'll be shown just how darn good the stockman is by his breaking in an unbreakable brumby.

[emma-in-oz.livejournal.com]

There will be a lot of landscape.

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

Being a Lurhman film with little opportunity for dancing, singing, or flashy costumes, there will probably be a bar with Can-can girls somewhere.

[capnoblivious.livejournal.com]

I note that Jack Thompson is playing an alcoholic accountant - I'd have guessed lawyer, but close enough.

Bryan Brown and David Gulpilil are sort of gimmes - presumably Bruce Spence will be playing a colourful yokel, too.

my predictions

[ataxi.livejournal.com]

There will be an Evil Stockman: a racist, sexist, violent pig of some degree or other (cf. Gary Sweet in The Tracker), in a roughly comparable situation to the Stockman, who is used as a device to bluntly characterise the Stockman (the latter is obviously really nice, because the Other Guy Is So Horrible).

There will be a Surprise Alcoholic, or an otherwise Unexpectedly Dependent or Flawed Person. In a position of civic respect: a doctor, lawyer, local politician, judge, or possibly the Banker/City Person, or a priest.

There will be a Crude Colonial Burial with a Heart-Rendingly Makeshift Cross.

I have others, but these I feel are my safest bets.

[capnoblivious.livejournal.com]

And about halfway through there will be a complete reversal in mood from "madcap" to "bittersweet" as one of the characters dies unexpectedly, probably from a drug overdose.

No, wait, that's a different type of Aussie film...