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alias_sqbrMostly writing this up for my own future reference but I thought I might as well make the post public since it's not personal and someone else might find it useful.This is my half-remembered description, I was very tired yesterday.
So first she asked me what thoughts were upper most in my mind, and I mentioned something I was feeling mild anxiety about.
The first step was to start with fairly standard mindfulness meditation (if you're not familiar with that it's probably worth looking into a more detailed description but here's something I found with a quick search):
Breathe. Focus on your breath, in and out. Find some part of the breath that feels especially notable/central, like the sensation of your chest moving or the feeling air going over your lip etc, and focus on that in particular. Any time a thought bigger than a single word or two comes along, don't push it away, but just let it be, and say "I will look at that later, but not now". There's no stopping or controlling thoughts or feelings, all we can control is what we focus on. I repeated "in in in, out out out" in my head which helped.
Next she asked me to sit with the feeling of anxiety I was having. Not thoughts about that anxiety, like what caused it, whether it's reasonable, what I can do about the situation etc. Just the feeling, the simple chemical emotion. Any time thoughts came up, I again gently told them now was not the time, and kept breathing and focusing on the feeling. Any time that was too hard (which, since it was a minor anxiety, just involved my mind doggedly drifting) I went back to my breath.
This worked so well it dispelled the anxiety... and then I realised that anxiety was all that was keeping me upright and I ended up having to quit early and have a nap, lol. In general I imagine this wouldn't dispel all anxieties, but I can see it helping with the sense that there are scary monsters in the depths of my mind. I can look the scary feeling in the face, accept it, and not do anything about it in the moment, and that makes it less scary, even if it's not gone.
That said, I find it important not to think about the possible benefits of meditation while meditating or I just end up thinking "Am I doing this right? Am I calm yet???" which is very counterproductive. I have to think of it as a worthwhile endeavor in and of itself. Even if I don't manage it for very long and am distracted by a lot of thoughts, just taking what moments I can to centre myself is worthwhile and I didn't 'fail'.
I am not a mental health practitioner and there are probably people for whom this technique would be unhelpful. Take care of yourself! But hopefully someone will find this useful, if only future me.
So first she asked me what thoughts were upper most in my mind, and I mentioned something I was feeling mild anxiety about.
The first step was to start with fairly standard mindfulness meditation (if you're not familiar with that it's probably worth looking into a more detailed description but here's something I found with a quick search):
Breathe. Focus on your breath, in and out. Find some part of the breath that feels especially notable/central, like the sensation of your chest moving or the feeling air going over your lip etc, and focus on that in particular. Any time a thought bigger than a single word or two comes along, don't push it away, but just let it be, and say "I will look at that later, but not now". There's no stopping or controlling thoughts or feelings, all we can control is what we focus on. I repeated "in in in, out out out" in my head which helped.
Next she asked me to sit with the feeling of anxiety I was having. Not thoughts about that anxiety, like what caused it, whether it's reasonable, what I can do about the situation etc. Just the feeling, the simple chemical emotion. Any time thoughts came up, I again gently told them now was not the time, and kept breathing and focusing on the feeling. Any time that was too hard (which, since it was a minor anxiety, just involved my mind doggedly drifting) I went back to my breath.
This worked so well it dispelled the anxiety... and then I realised that anxiety was all that was keeping me upright and I ended up having to quit early and have a nap, lol. In general I imagine this wouldn't dispel all anxieties, but I can see it helping with the sense that there are scary monsters in the depths of my mind. I can look the scary feeling in the face, accept it, and not do anything about it in the moment, and that makes it less scary, even if it's not gone.
That said, I find it important not to think about the possible benefits of meditation while meditating or I just end up thinking "Am I doing this right? Am I calm yet???" which is very counterproductive. I have to think of it as a worthwhile endeavor in and of itself. Even if I don't manage it for very long and am distracted by a lot of thoughts, just taking what moments I can to centre myself is worthwhile and I didn't 'fail'.
I am not a mental health practitioner and there are probably people for whom this technique would be unhelpful. Take care of yourself! But hopefully someone will find this useful, if only future me.
