alias_sqbr

I'm not going to make this but it has been in my head since DA2. I think I may have described it then but I have even more fodder now because Bioware. If anyone sees this and is inspired to make a similar vid please go ahead, and let me know :)

So! The song is Videogames by Lana del Ray. The subject is the UTTER MISERY we players put up with for our pixelated love interests.

Some themes:

Killing for them:
Marjolaine for Leliana
The noble for Sera
Loghain for Alistair
Dragons for Bull and Morrigan
Arishok for Isabela

Having to kill them:
Iron Bull, Fenris, Merrill, Zevran (can that happen on his romance?)

Other unpleasant things:
Having sex with that noble for Josephine
Digging through sewerage and then planting a BOMB IN THE CHANTRY for Anders
Getting punched in the face by a pride demon for Solas
Doing awful things to get Morrigan's approval up
Getting Alistair to have sex with Morrigan

Being dumped:
Morrigan and Solas SEVERAL TIMES including eluvians for both
Being abandoned naked just after sex by Blackwall
Being abandoned clothed just after sex by Fenris and Isabela
EDIT: All the other times Isabela abandons you, which I seemed to have blocked out
Alistair when he's an unhardened king or you don't spare Loghain
Sera if you're too into the elf gods

Being otherwise STABBED IN THE HEART:
Blackwall in the cell
The truth about Solas
The chantry exploding
Shouty rivalry romance scenes
Cullen KILLING YOUR WHOLE CLAN

Being rejected:
Wrong type: Cassandra, Cullen (noone else's rejections made me feel bad haha)
Everyone: Varric, Aveline (the useless little heart dialogues)

Meta pain:
Terrible things going wrong with mods: the sexy Cailan corpse, clipping errors when Cullen makes out with a qunari dude, Morrigan calling f!warden a man etc(*).
Bugs: Alistair talking about dumping you, Zevran not remembering he's dating the warden (not sure how you'd show that)
Plus just the effort of using cheats at all.
The regular DAO sex scenes, esp the f/f
The mounting costs of games and DLCs

Dying for them:
Warden's final sacrifice, Alistair reading at her grave

Interspersed, of course, with all the happy smoochy romantic moments that keep us coming back. PLus all the game-y signs a romance is working: approvals, quests showing up etc.

(*)I've never actually used mods but have heard tales :)