alias_sqbr: Faith holding a spray can next to "Buffy the Vamprie Slayer" with Faith scrawled over the top (faith)
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Episode One.

This has been a DELIGHTFUL watch while I've been sick, to the extent I decided to go back and write some retroactive reactions now I'm feeling a bit better. Like, this is not a GOOD show, and is ultimately heterosexual cheese, but I'm genuinely starting to think someone involved is trying to make it at least a little queer friendly. Not going to get my hopes up too high but so far I am enjoying the ride!

So! Let us enjoy Love 2: The Pretty Boy is Targeted, Love 3: The Pretty Boy Stays Over, and Love 4: The Pretty Boy Becomes Friends

Love 2: The Pretty Boy is Targeted

A blonde girl with a fairy tale vibe, surrounded by animals, sniffs a strawberry.
"Did you know? A girl's blood tastes like a sweet strawberry when she is loved, and it'll have you craving for more. To a vampire it's... oh!"

The girl is surprised by a man with short dark hair and visible fangs and the scene ends. I wonder if she's a real character or just a metaphor.

Wait, so... all vampires prefer women's blood? HMM.

Mito is woken by Ruka's Spoiled Mean Persian Cat, Marian... and realises she is in Ruka's bed, in his arms. When she freaks out he calmly says he's making her blood taste better, then pushes her down to drink his breakfast, before pulling away in disgust.

Mito: Well, as long as my blood tastes disgusting he won't figure out I'm a girl any time soon.

What are you implying would happen if you tasted good, Mito...

A bat flies in and then turns into Ruka's butler/boss Komori, who politely hands Mito a uniform for Ruka's all-boys school.

Mito: Oh no, when they sign me up they'll realise I'm a girl.
Ruka: Don't worry, all the guys are nice. Besides, I'm here so everything will be alright.

And then all the boys ARE nice. Except the MYSTERIOUS DARK HAIRED BOY who glares at Mito.

She struggles with schoolwork since she's missed a bunch of school. I think they're all like... in the middle of first year highschool, so about 16? Writing this up, it occured to me that the fact she's legally female never comes up again. I guess Komori took care of things and now knows she's a girl? He's a dark horse that one.

Ruka invites Mito to work at Pretty Boy French Cafe since she's poor, and she cheerfully accepts. But then in the change room he takes off his shirt and when she blushingly says she'll get changed later starts unbuttoning her shirt saying she's a handful and nearly sees her chest bindings before she shoves him away, because like all cross dressing girls she is incapable of wearing an undervest.

We meet the other two waiters: Tall, cheerful Takara and small, quietly grumpy Juri.

Mito watches conventionally attractive female patrons flirt at a politely stoic Ruka and thinks "They're so beautiful and happy... I bet their blood tastes better than mine. So sweet that it would make you melt."

Just girl things: Thinking other women's blood would taste great.

Juri corners Mito in a dark corner and accuses her of Hiding Something and using Ruka. Mito backs into some pots and nearly gets hurt but Ruka jumps to save her with superhuman speed, ending up with a bleeding cut.

Mito immediately drags him back to their room, pulls open her shirt, and lies back on the bed saying "Quickly, drink my blood". We see Ruka's POV on her looking all soft focus and sexy, then he drinks before pulling away, coughing.

Mito, grabbing him: If only my blood was delicious, like a girl's!
Ruka, wiping her tears: I told you, I want you, not a girl.

I. Ok.

He puts a "sang sucre" around her neck: a choker with a blue heart crystal which will apparently change colour when her blood tastes sweeter.

Ruka: I will ripen your heart to red. And it's my fault for not being able to drink from women in the first place.
Mito: Why is that, anyway?

Bat!Komori opens a secret bookcase, to finally reveal the dark truth. Ruka is...

Komori, who has long blonde hair in a side ponytail and is wearing a green suit, gestures towards a collection of cutouts, posters, manga and models of the magical girl show Love Magi, which looks a lot like Pretty Cure. he says a huge otaku vampire whos only interested in 2D girls!

THIS SHOW

Ruka enthusiastically starts explaining the plot of his favourite anime, the magical girl show Love Magi about two girls who escaped an evil organisation to save the world, which is full of themes of friendship and love. THIS IS HIS MODEL FOR WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE OMG.

Mito: *stare*
Ruka: Don't judge me! Even though I'm bad with 3D women I give them friendly customer service!
Komori: Yet he refuses to drink the blood of men I suggest. I am glad you came along, Mito-san.
Mito: Hahaha! This is so different to how I pictured you, Ruka.
Ruka, play-wresting a laughing Mito: IT'S A VERY SERIOUS ANIME.

The next day Mito is carb loading on free school food to make herself a better snack and Takara and Juri ask if Ruka is feeling better.

Mito, remembering Ruka energetically acting out the magical girl poses as he made her watch Love Magi: He's fine.

The tall smiling blonde glasses wearing Takara ruffles the hair of the short purplette Juri, who is wearing striped PJs and clutching a large teddy bear. Mito looks at them as Takara says Juri was so worried that he couldn't sleep all night!

Juri apologies and Mito says she IS hiding something but it's not going to hurt anyone.

Juri: That's alright. Everyone has secrets. You can call me my name, I have- (I think he was going to say 'another one')
Takara, putting his arm around Juri: Hey what are you guys discussing?
Juri, blushing: You're annoying.
Takara: Haha, hey, we're childhood friends aren't we?

So yeah either Juri is ALSO a cross-dressing girl or really IS a little gay quasi-shota. Either way he is DEFINITELY tsunderely in love with an obliviously skirt chasing Takara. If they're childhood friends does Takara KNOW he's a girl??

They are interrupted by the sound of a motorcycle as MYSTERIOUS DARK HAIRED BOY shows up. Juri says his name is Ren and he's a DELINQUENT who gets into FIGHTS.

Ren pulls Mito aside and kabedons the wall so hard it CRACKS before telling her that Ruka... is a VAMPIRE!! She just looks surprised that he knows, which pisses him off more.

Ruka, standing between them: I know you don't like me but don't mess with my roommate. *waits for Ren to leave then bites Mito* That better not have made you taste bad.
Mito: Hey! Someone will find out you're a vampire!
Ruka: A true Love Magi Girl is not afraid to be seen casting love magic!
Mito: Like...in your anime?? I can't believe I WORRIED about you, you IDIOT. *rushes off before he can heal the bite*

Here's a very yaoi-ish shot of Mito with Ren and Ruka from the opening credits:


Karate class! Ren wins his match with overwhelming strength.
Juri: Ren and Ruka have always been strong and fast.

Shot of Ruka cheerfully jumping around on one leg to avoid being caught by his opponent. That is not how you do karate, Ruka.

Mito is assigned a fight with Ren and IMMEDIATELY gets up in his (much higher and very surprised) face saying "I WILL BE THE ONE TO PROTECT RUKA FROM YOU" :D

Ren sees the unhealed bite, knocks her down gently to win the fight, then drags her outside.

Ren: Those marks... Are you and Ruka... going out?!
Mito: No???
Ren: Then it's a bite >:( If you keep giving him your blood you'll turn into a vampire too! You won't be able to live as a normal human and will lose your family! I can't let that happen to guys like you... Vampires are heartless monsters!
Mito: If you're going to call Ruka a monster... then living humans are the monsters! People judge others by how they look, then when things are inconvenient they throw them out. That's why Ruka has the bigger heart! You say I'll lose everything, but I don't have anything to lose. Noone wants me... but Ruka reached out to me. I like the monster better!
Ren: But I'm worried about you.
Mito, grabbing his hand: Then I'll make sure Ruka doesn't turn me into a vampire.
Ren, with a confused, blushing expression: Alright. I'm sorry for being so rough.

Ruka, listening in secret, blushing: What... is this feeling...

We see Ren in his room flashing back to Mito saying "I prefer the monster"... and then flashbacks to HIM being called a monster as a child because he was so strong, before his mother hugs him and says she loves him anyway.
Ren: Mito... said the same thing as my mother...

Normally shoujo waits a little longer before the alternate love interest goes "Oh, I love her like a mother", but sure. I love how he would much prefer Mito be gay than vampire food, and how everyone kinda sees themselves a lonely monster.

Love 3: The Pretty Boy Stays Over

TIME FOR A GLAMPING TRIP! They literally use the English word "glamping".

Mito: BBQ? MEAT??? *clutches Ruka* RUKA CAN WE GO???
Ruka: *starts to quietly have a sexuality crisis*

Ren sees this and flashes back to his mother saying "Ren, I'm sorry, I still love your father very much. Even if I can't be human any more."

And then she jumps into the arms of a silver haired man and they FLY OFF INTO THE NIGHT while child!Ren screams "MOTHER!!".

It's a lot.

Inside a fancy tent, with a large round bed with four pillows, a bench, and a set of drawers with flowers on top.

So the four 'boys' are all sleeping in the same bed?? Sure.

Mito: This is SO much better than 'camping' as a homeless person :D
Juri and Tanaka: Wait, what?

Ren shows up on his motrobike! I was previously asked if he has a leather jacket and sadly no, but he does have flame decals on his helmet.
Ren on his motorbike, in a blue hoodie and helmet with flame decals.

Mito, watching Ren set up a simple cheap tent: He must be here to protect me.
Ruka: *picks her up and throws her in the creek*

Mito winces, sitting in a shallow creek. Ruka says Its your fault for thinking of other guys when you're my thrall.

Mito pulls him in after her as payback, laughing.

Mito is given All the Meat at dinner since she was so enthused, while Juri quietly mutters about being forced to eat green capsicum, which is very child-coded. Ruka tells her to keep her voice down then pulls her into a secluded spot to have his meal.
Mito: Ruka... am I going to turn into a vampire?
Ruka: Lol, no. We're only allowed to turn our Destined Partner. Once you meet her you can't drink from anyone else. That's why you're a placeholder until I meet mine :) Wait, why are you running off crying??

Mito: *screams*
Ruka: *rushes to her side*
Mito: *clutching him in terror* There was... a moth!!!!
Ruka, apparently into this: What is this feeling??

Mito runs off to the unisex hot springs, and since there's noone around takes off her clothes though she keeps her wig close just in case. Sure.

Ren: Hey, Mito, are you alright? I saw you run past and- huh. a naked woman. Wait. MITO IS A WOMAN??

After a moment of thought he decides, since this IS a unisex bath, he'll just TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES AND JOIN HER??? She doesn't realise he saw anything, so quickly puts on her wig and sinks down to cover her boobs.

Mito: I GUESS THIS IS FINE. SINCE WE'RE BOTH MEN.
Ren: Exactly. And I want to keep an eye on you. *sinks UNDER THE WATER with his eyes closed* That was refreshing, you should try it :)
Mito: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

What are you doing, Ren, you weirdo. Like from most characters this would come across as creepy/flirty but he just comes across as oblivious.

Mito is blushing but doesn't seem notably embarrassed by or into him being a man, just worried he'll notice she's not. Then she realises he's covered in scars.
Ren: It bothers you, doesn't it? My terrible body. When you're strong, someone always wants to fight you, and then they just keep coming. In the end they treat you like a monster.
Mito: You're not a monster! It's the people who start fights who are bad! You're a little awkward, but you're a reliable friend to me.
Ren, suddenly blushing and looking away: A...friend?

Oh my god these two are so cute. Zero chemistry even when naked together, but adorable.

She sneaks out to get dressed then collapses due to heat exhaustion.

Ren, carrying her back to camp on his back: You're a handful. If you keep this up you'll be a vampire in no time.
Mito: It's fine. He'll only turn his destined partner. Who isn't me ;_;

Ruka: MITO!! WHAT DID THAT BASTARD REN DO TO YOU??
Mito: He helped me! Thanks, Ren.
Ren, stoically: It's nothing. We're friends after all.

Aww.

Ruka rubs cold water on Mito's arms and feet and she is VERY into it. When he turns to get up she grabs him and touches his face.

Mito: I don't care if it's just until you meet your destined partner. Until that day... love me more, Ruka.

She collapses into his arms and he very nearly kisses her.

Ruka: Mito's a guy, what am I doing???

He runs off into the night and bumps into Komori, who is in full vampire getup for some reason. Was he eating glampers.

Komori, dressed like Dracula, stalks through the dark saying After an anime character, you're now infatuated with a boy, I see...

Komori: You must not fall for anyone but your destined partner, whether they be woman... or man. Otherwise you will forever wander this world as a bloodthirsty vampire.
Ruka: I know. I won't fall in love!!

What is this worldbuilding?? Are the lady vampires lesbians or are all vampires male and they reproduce by finding their Fated (Female) Partner and turning her? That would definitely give an added reason for Ruka to be convinced he's only into girls!

I think Ruka calls him Shishu-sama/"Lord Teacher".

So, my one hope for this show was that Ruka would have a sexuality crisis before finding out Mito is a girl. Having gotten that, I thought about what I'd want next and decided I wanted Ruka to decide the best way to get over Mito is by pressuring Mito to date girls. And also for Ruka himself to cross-dress, for Reasons.

(Also, vampire!Komori is kinda hot. Especially since he's the only adult to have any lines since ramen guy in ep 1)

Love 4: The Pretty Boy Becomes Friends

Mito is worried because Ruka has been avoiding her. She eventually tracks him down and grabs him before he can escape, saying "You haven't sucked my blood at all lately!" loud enough to be heard by several very confused classmates.

She pulls him into an empty room and unbuttons her collar, telling him to drink a week's worth to catch up. I love how proactive and protective she is! But he just shouts that he's not hungry and storms off.

Komori sees her sad at work and gives her a soothing tea. You caused this, dude!

Ren also notices she is sad so pulls her away from work.

Komori: Oh my, he's been taken away! Let's see how you answer this, Lord Ruka :)

Ren: This is my first time having a friend so I don't know how to make you feel better. So I'll tag along with you while you do whatever you want, whether it's shopping or whatever.
Mito: But I don't really have anything i want to- oh! A dress shop!

Me: Ah well, I guess she had to embrace femininity some time.

Mito: Maybe if I dress like a girl Ruka will want to drink my blood!
Ren: That's a women's store??

I love that finding out that she's afab has had basically zero effect on how he relates to her. Like I feel like his behaviour makes more sense if he assumes she's a trans guy.

He gets embarrassed when she asks a cheerfully helpful assistant to try on a frilly dress and says he'll wait outside. Naked women- fine. Dresses- intimidating.

Mito stares at herself in the changing room mirror, thinking "This is me as a girl. If he saw me like this, would Ruka-"

Female customers: I saw a man go into that changing room. Eww, let's take a peek >:D
Mito, covering her chest, which is still flatly bound under the dress: Oh no D:
Ruka, pulling the curtain from the customers: You have a problem with my friend? What's wrong with a girl or boy wearing what they want? I think he'd look much better than you two.

They storm off and unexpected trans ally Ruka goes in to check on Mito.
Ruka, blushing: Wait, what are you wearing?
Mito: I thought if I dressed like this you'd want to drink my blood. But... it looks weird on me, right?

Ruka, transfixed, gently runs a finger over her exposed skin.

Ruka: I want to drink from this feminine version of you. But you're... an important friend. So you don't have to push yourself and pretend to be a woman. It's fine the way it is. I'll love you as a friend. So I can drink, can't I...
Ren: HEY. JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FRIENDS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN DRINK HIS BLOOD.
Mito: Hee. Thanks for becoming my friends, you guys.

They are definitely saying "ai", love, not "like", which is a big deal in Japanese.

Later, Mito is delighted to realise her choker gem has changed to yellow.

Ruka, patting her head: Congratulations, this is because I've been pouring my love into you!
Komori, appearing in a cloud of smoke: Mito, why not taste even better with a bath and strawberry cologne that stirs a vampire's appetite, then put on this revealing bathrobe? :)
Ruka: I love him as a FRIEND.
Komori: Is that so? Because of your love he is releasing more pheromones.
Ruka and me: Pheremones??
Komori: Well, just make sure not to fall in love. Have a nice night! *transforms in a puff of smoke and flies away*

Komori what are you doing to these poor stupid teenagers.

Mito, in a bathrobe smelling of strawberries: Did I do this right? Well, I'm sure I'll still taste better, because you and Ren love me as friends :)
Ruka, kneeling at her feet: I love you more.

And then there is a very charged blood drinking scene with a lot of gasping and clutching, and for the first time Ruka doesn't immediately pull away.

Mito: How... does it taste...?
Ruka, blushing: ... TERRIBLE. I'M GOING TO TAKE A BATH TO FEEL BETTER.

Ruka, in the bathroom: I was so into that I didn't even notice the taste D: Just because I'm no good with women doesn't mean I'd fall for a guy D: He's flat as a board, short, and just a regular high school boy!

So a tall guy would be ok?

Ruka, bursting out of the bathroom: MITO! GET A GIRLFRIEND!! If you get a woman to love you your blood might taste good for once!

Mito: D:
Me: :D

Takara organises a mixer with some girls from the girl's school next door but Juri pissily refuses to go.

Ren: Why am I here??
Ryka: Because your dear friend Mito needs help :)
Mito: Sorry, Ren.
Ren, blushing: And you, stop smelling like sweet fruit and man up!

The girls are all pretty, polite, and elegant. One blushingly asks Mito to come with her alone and look I know it's going nowhere but I still got this moment:
Mito smiles bashfully next to a shy looking shorter girl and thinks I can't believe I'm alone with a girl.

Ren: Wait, why are YOU stalking Mito from behind a pillar, you ORGANISED this.
Ruka: I mean... I just told him to get a girlfriend...
Ren: It's too soon for him to go out with a girl!
Ruka: What are you, his guardian?

Watching gets too much for Ruka and he leaves.

Just as Mito is trying to figure out how to awkwardly turn this girl down she of course turns out to be into Ruka.

So now Ruka and Mito both angst about how this girl is SO perfect and good for the other, while they are just a FRIEND.

Ren stares silently at both of them, possibly having some pieces fall into place. He approaches Mito, who starts crying on his shoulder.

He stares at her in surprise for a moment, and then flinches back, holding his chest.

Ren, clutching his head in his hands: Get away from me, or he's going to come out!!

END OF EPISODE.

I have no idea what's happening and I am HERE for it :D

Next: crossdressing Ruka?? IT COULD HAPPEN.

Though this show seems pretty ambivalent about both women and femininity. I was expecting Mito to be way more into wearing a dress but she was just surprised by how soft it was and mostly focussed on what Ruka would think.
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