alias_sqbr

And I agree that a lot of the men (queer or otherwise) who complain about fandom "oppressing" them are just having trouble getting used to being in the minority.

yes, and they are so shocked by it!

But...I still think it's wrong to equate fandom, where women happen to be in the majority, with a social setting which is specifically created as a space for women.

OTW does not, IMO, make that equation. Perhaps a change of phrase would make that better-understood, but it seems to me that many people are intent on hating OTW no matter what they do or say.

I do think it'd be fair to complain if those gay men then, as a community, started picking on or belittling the sort of slash which started things off,

Oh, honey, they would and they do. It's not because they are gay or men, it's tribal behavior....