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So I never really liked Karasuba, and got the impression he was super bad about consent on his path, so put this off for MONTHS. I was thus happily surprised when he was only moderately bad about consent.
I mean I still don't know if I entirely ship it, but it's an interesting dynamic, and I ended up enjoying the route more than I expected.
LET'S DO THIS.
I decided to start with all the remaining short episodes. There's still a couple left locked.
A childhood memory of Aki being bullied by his "friends" for losing them a relay. He's small and weak and cries easily, so he simperingly puts up with their mistreatment because otherwise he'd be alone.
...ok I was all set to not like him at all but this is pretty relatable.
They start calling him "princess" and pressuring him to call himself a girl (I think use feminine "watashi" personal pronouns instead of his usual masculine "ore" ones) He refuses, and can't stop himself bursting into tears.
But then Ai arrives, and tells them to leave him alone. The boys say they will if she (who they call a tomboy) calls herself a boy. So she does, lowering her voice and using ore pronouns and saying it's no big deal. This pisses the boys off further and one goes to hit her but Aki takes the blow. He admired her strength, and is determined to one day be a man who can defend her.
WELL THAT WAS A LOT OF GENDER FEELS
I'm not sure if the creators of this game intend the true villain to be toxic masculinity, but that's how I read it.
Karasuba POV. He's just gotten his memories back and wallows in self hatred about what a weakling he used to be. He asks Hikage for advice on getting Beniyuri to like him.
Karasuba: Should I sneak into her bedroom while she's asleep?
Hikage: Not on my watch >:(
...ok so then I had a massive depressive episode and THEN the world *gestures with slightly hysterical laughter* so I took a teeeny break.
A month ago I decided I was maybe up for the game, so played two little scenes, then went NOPE THIS IS TOO SAD FOR ME AFTER ALL, I don't remember what happened but it was VERY SAD.
But I'm actually feeling emotionally stable now so let's get the route over and done with.
Man Karasuba is such a diiiick. You only have so long to win me over before I play one of the Love 365 stories I have saved, dude.
Karasuba: What's your proof that Yamato is a good person?
Beniyuri: Just a feeling really. Like how some people look scary but are actually good.
Karasuba: So a nice looking person like Kagiha is really evil?
Me: Well...yeah...
Beniyuri: No!
Karasuba: So it's impossible to tell if someone's good or bad.
Beniyuri: That's not what I said!
Karasuba: Haha. Sorry, you're so innocent it's fun to tease you. But if you keep believing in fantasies like 'good people' you won't survive long... Anyway, I'm bored of this floor! Let's keep moving ^_^
They come across a crying little girl in a mask. Karasuba says to keep back but Beniyuri tries to calm her down.
Girl: I was very sick, but they said that since I was a good girl, God would save me. Liars. LIARS!!
And then she turns into a monster and there's a cheery shooting minigame with Karasuba gleefully shouting "Cool! Bang bang!" as I murder...her...
*takes another break*
Karasuba: When you trust people you get hurt. Hopefully you've learned your lesson :)
Beniyuri: How can you smile at a time like this? Don't you feel anything at all?
Karasuba: Hmm...well, I suspected she was a monster from the start. So no.
Beniyuri: So you don't trust anyone? Not even us? Not even me?
Karasuba: No. Sorry? :)
Beniyuri: That might save you from being hurt, but it sounds very lonely.
Karasuba: ...
All the Karasuba choices seem to be about retreating from painful things and not forcing herself to confront reality. And then she is filled with self loathing, yay!
After she's remembered everyone's names, Beniyuri finds Karasuba staring at the kaleidoscope with a serious expression.
Beniyuri: Aki-chan...
Karasuba: :/
Beniyuri: ...Karasuba-kun. What are you doing?
Karasuba: Nothing much. Just thinking of breaking this thing :)
Beniyuri: What?? You're joking right?
Karasuba: Not joking. But not entirely serious either. I'm always half-assed like that, I really hate myself for it :)
He talks about how 'something bad' happened when he was a kid that he wished he could forget, and then when he came here that wish came true. But now his memories are back.
And now I vaguely remember that one of the scenes I watched when I was depressed was a flashback to little Aki-chan being too paralysed with fear to go for help when his friends were drowning, and instead just standing there helpless, watching.
After finding out she doesn't remember anything to do with him or school, he rests his head on her shoulder and says "Would you believe me if I said you were my girlfriend?"
Beniyuri: No. If you were my boyfriend you wouldn't be testing me like this.
Karasuba: Damn. You're sharp about this sort of thing.
Beniyuri: Aki-chan, you've changed...
Karasuba: We agreed not to use those names.
Beniyuri: Is it because you don't want to remember your old life?
Karasuba: There's using your noggin.
Beniyuri: I want to go back. I want to remember everything about you and everyone else.
Karasuba: Beniyuri, if you remember everything...the one who'll be hurt the most is you. You're better off staying here and not remembering, trust me. You're not quite the same person here that you used to be. You're not Ai, you're Beniyuri. I'm not weak little Akira, I'm Karasuba, and I'm strong enough to protect you. Instead of returning to that cruel reality, why not stay here in the happy dream?
I have the choice to take his hand, or refuse it.
Karasuba ending:
She takes his hand.
He asks if she will stay with him forever, and she says yes. She gets sleepy, and wakes...with him in bed next to her, looking very pleased with himself. He implies they had sex and she gets upset, then he says he's just joking and goes to make breakfast.
Beniyuri: You're a better cook than I am.
Karasuba: Then make me your wife. I'd rather be the husband, but I don't mind either way.
Beniyuri: Aren't you going to eat?
Karasuba: I'm just enjoying the moment. I've always wanted to share breakfast with the girl I like, just the two of us :)
Beniyuri: ...there's...just...the two of us?
Karasuba: Haha, you say the strangest things. It's always just been the two of us :)
And she can't remember any different. She can't remember anything of the past at all. Something feels off, but she doesn't want to spoil the fun.
There's a montage of him getting her to play cards/read books etc with him. "Day after day he plays with me like a child. Our life is simple and lacks change. I feel like I'm sitting in a pool of lukewarm water but at least I'm happy." And at night, they sleep in the same bed.
Beniyuri: Why are there so many books and rooms in this house?
For a moment he frowns in confusion, like he doesn't know either.
Karasuba: Does it matter? You're overthinking things.
He moves closer, holding her still in a gentle grip. She feels paralysed and the CG is pretty rapey looking.
Karasuba: Let's play like adults, now. Can I kiss you?
Beniyuri: No...it doesn't feel right.
Karasuba: That's not much of a reason.
It feels like there is a shard of glass in her heart, sharp but beautiful, and if she accepts him, it will never come out.
He kisses her.
Karasuba: Did you like that?
Beniyuri: I said no.
Karasuba: That's not an answer. Can I kiss you again?
Beniyuri: ...
She disassociates through a still kinda rapey looking sexy CG.
Karasuba: Let's run away to the world of dreams. I'll make you forget everything. I'll forget everything but you.
Beniyuri: I don't understand.
Karasuba: Yes you do.
Beniyuri: ...this isn't reality, is it?
He kisses her again and her mind clouds. She feels like she's leaving something important behind, but she has no intention of going back to pick it up. She wants to stay here, in this comfortable place. They agree to stay together forever, and drown each other in kisses.
THE END
...ok that was WAY less rapey than I was lead to believe. Dubconny, for sure, but she eventually said yes! For a bad end otome sex scene that's almost enthusiastic consent! Though the contrast with the CGs makes me wonder if the translator softened the dubcon.
I mean he's awful, and not in a way I'm really into, but he's certainly compelling.
If I think about it for too long I wonder how he got them into the dreamworld, what happened to everyone else, etc, and those questions don't bear much scrutiny. So let's move on!
Aki Ending:
She refuses his hand.
Beniyuri: My name isn't Beniyuri. It's Ai. That's the name my parents gave me, and the one used by everyone who cares about me, who's waiting for me in the real world. Don't you have anyone like that?
Karasuba: ...
Beniyuri: I was afraid of remembering painful things. But talking to you has made me realise I have to face them. Otherwise I won't know if it's true when you say things like "You used to be my girlfriend". If I don't know myself, I can't tell my loved ones how I really feel. I want to go back to the real world, to where I can call you Aki. Let's all go together, ok?
Karasuba: ...this blows. I was hoping you'd escape reality with me, not give me a lecture about it. I can't control you...but I really do like you.
Beniyuri: !!
Karasuba: Anyway, time for bed! Thanks for lending me your shoulder, I feel much better :)
Beniyuri: ...you're welcome.
Things progress as before, all the way to everyone waking up in the real world. Just as I was thinking I'd screwed up the ending again, things change.
Ai is preparing for her first day back at school after waking up in hospital. Only a few weeks passed in the real world but she wonders how much will have changed, how far she's behind. She wears the butterfly hairpin Aki got her as a good luck charm. It lost it's glass in the accident, so all that remains is the frame. And Aki's feelings for her.
Aki himself is still recuperating, so she prepares to go to school alone- except he shows up, saying he got better a while ago but was playing hooky until she came back.
Ai: The sunshine and fresh air is so nice, it's a pity we have to go to class.
Aki: We could go have fun instead :D
Ai: ...that does sound pretty good.
Aki: Haha, yeah, I knew you'd say- WAIT WHAT o.O
Then I played through to the end and it was surprisingly sweet.
They sit at their old playground and Aki talks about how her saving him from bullying as a kid made him happy but also mortified to be saved by the girl he liked, when he should be protecting her. He just watched as she and the others drowned, and hated himself afterwards for being so weak. So when he started a new school he reinvented him as a cheerful, popular guy. But then when he saw her at the highschool opening ceremony he felt like he'd been dragged back to his childhood, reminded that all his cheerfulness was a sham.
He apologises for all the hurtful things he said and did, both before the accident and in the manor. He wanted to be strong, but just hurt her, and was just as stuck in the past as everyone else.
She apologises too. He spent ages trying to cheer her up and push her forward, but she was too stuck in the past.
And she screws up her courage and takes his hand in hers, saying she wants to move forward with him. He is blushingly flustered, but when he asks exactly what she means she chickens out and demurs.
Aki: How about a kiss then? ;)
Ai: No-no! It's too soon for that!
Aki: I was just kidding :)
Ai: (No he wasn't. But I have to stop being such a coward)
So she haltingly gets across that she would like to date him, but for them to take things slowly, at their own pace. He stares at her for a moment then gleefully pulls her into a hug.
Aki: That sounds good. I was trying to move forward too fast, and you weren't able to move at all. Between us we can find the right pace.
She hugs him back, thinking about the warmth in her chest, and how she will like him a little more each day as they move together into the future.
THE END
That was actually relatively sweet?
His dubconny skeeziness was still awful, but more sympathetic if he was so consumed with self loathing that he thought her genuinely liking him was completely impossible, so he took what he could get, and every time she pushed him away he thought "Yep, see, she would never actually like me". Like that's still BAD, but not as bad as him doing it with the intention of her eventually being dubconned into saying yes. And he's this traumatised teenager who wants to be grownup and strong but confuses that with sex and cynicism.
But they find happiness when he admits vulnerability, and she makes the first move.
Her feelings for him did lean a little platonic even in the end, which was a bit weird, but I'm going to just assume that's partly her being in denial about how she actually feels, because it makes me happier.
And now all that's left is a few more random short scenes, and the "Happy Ending".
So I never really liked Karasuba, and got the impression he was super bad about consent on his path, so put this off for MONTHS. I was thus happily surprised when he was only moderately bad about consent.
I mean I still don't know if I entirely ship it, but it's an interesting dynamic, and I ended up enjoying the route more than I expected.
LET'S DO THIS.
I decided to start with all the remaining short episodes. There's still a couple left locked.
A childhood memory of Aki being bullied by his "friends" for losing them a relay. He's small and weak and cries easily, so he simperingly puts up with their mistreatment because otherwise he'd be alone.
...ok I was all set to not like him at all but this is pretty relatable.
They start calling him "princess" and pressuring him to call himself a girl (I think use feminine "watashi" personal pronouns instead of his usual masculine "ore" ones) He refuses, and can't stop himself bursting into tears.
But then Ai arrives, and tells them to leave him alone. The boys say they will if she (who they call a tomboy) calls herself a boy. So she does, lowering her voice and using ore pronouns and saying it's no big deal. This pisses the boys off further and one goes to hit her but Aki takes the blow. He admired her strength, and is determined to one day be a man who can defend her.
WELL THAT WAS A LOT OF GENDER FEELS
I'm not sure if the creators of this game intend the true villain to be toxic masculinity, but that's how I read it.
Karasuba POV. He's just gotten his memories back and wallows in self hatred about what a weakling he used to be. He asks Hikage for advice on getting Beniyuri to like him.
Karasuba: Should I sneak into her bedroom while she's asleep?
Hikage: Not on my watch >:(
...ok so then I had a massive depressive episode and THEN the world *gestures with slightly hysterical laughter* so I took a teeeny break.
A month ago I decided I was maybe up for the game, so played two little scenes, then went NOPE THIS IS TOO SAD FOR ME AFTER ALL, I don't remember what happened but it was VERY SAD.
But I'm actually feeling emotionally stable now so let's get the route over and done with.
Man Karasuba is such a diiiick. You only have so long to win me over before I play one of the Love 365 stories I have saved, dude.
Karasuba: What's your proof that Yamato is a good person?
Beniyuri: Just a feeling really. Like how some people look scary but are actually good.
Karasuba: So a nice looking person like Kagiha is really evil?
Me: Well...yeah...
Beniyuri: No!
Karasuba: So it's impossible to tell if someone's good or bad.
Beniyuri: That's not what I said!
Karasuba: Haha. Sorry, you're so innocent it's fun to tease you. But if you keep believing in fantasies like 'good people' you won't survive long... Anyway, I'm bored of this floor! Let's keep moving ^_^
They come across a crying little girl in a mask. Karasuba says to keep back but Beniyuri tries to calm her down.
Girl: I was very sick, but they said that since I was a good girl, God would save me. Liars. LIARS!!
And then she turns into a monster and there's a cheery shooting minigame with Karasuba gleefully shouting "Cool! Bang bang!" as I murder...her...
*takes another break*
Karasuba: When you trust people you get hurt. Hopefully you've learned your lesson :)
Beniyuri: How can you smile at a time like this? Don't you feel anything at all?
Karasuba: Hmm...well, I suspected she was a monster from the start. So no.
Beniyuri: So you don't trust anyone? Not even us? Not even me?
Karasuba: No. Sorry? :)
Beniyuri: That might save you from being hurt, but it sounds very lonely.
Karasuba: ...
All the Karasuba choices seem to be about retreating from painful things and not forcing herself to confront reality. And then she is filled with self loathing, yay!
After she's remembered everyone's names, Beniyuri finds Karasuba staring at the kaleidoscope with a serious expression.
Beniyuri: Aki-chan...
Karasuba: :/
Beniyuri: ...Karasuba-kun. What are you doing?
Karasuba: Nothing much. Just thinking of breaking this thing :)
Beniyuri: What?? You're joking right?
Karasuba: Not joking. But not entirely serious either. I'm always half-assed like that, I really hate myself for it :)
He talks about how 'something bad' happened when he was a kid that he wished he could forget, and then when he came here that wish came true. But now his memories are back.
And now I vaguely remember that one of the scenes I watched when I was depressed was a flashback to little Aki-chan being too paralysed with fear to go for help when his friends were drowning, and instead just standing there helpless, watching.
After finding out she doesn't remember anything to do with him or school, he rests his head on her shoulder and says "Would you believe me if I said you were my girlfriend?"
Beniyuri: No. If you were my boyfriend you wouldn't be testing me like this.
Karasuba: Damn. You're sharp about this sort of thing.
Beniyuri: Aki-chan, you've changed...
Karasuba: We agreed not to use those names.
Beniyuri: Is it because you don't want to remember your old life?
Karasuba: There's using your noggin.
Beniyuri: I want to go back. I want to remember everything about you and everyone else.
Karasuba: Beniyuri, if you remember everything...the one who'll be hurt the most is you. You're better off staying here and not remembering, trust me. You're not quite the same person here that you used to be. You're not Ai, you're Beniyuri. I'm not weak little Akira, I'm Karasuba, and I'm strong enough to protect you. Instead of returning to that cruel reality, why not stay here in the happy dream?
I have the choice to take his hand, or refuse it.
Karasuba ending:
She takes his hand.
He asks if she will stay with him forever, and she says yes. She gets sleepy, and wakes...with him in bed next to her, looking very pleased with himself. He implies they had sex and she gets upset, then he says he's just joking and goes to make breakfast.
Beniyuri: You're a better cook than I am.
Karasuba: Then make me your wife. I'd rather be the husband, but I don't mind either way.
Beniyuri: Aren't you going to eat?
Karasuba: I'm just enjoying the moment. I've always wanted to share breakfast with the girl I like, just the two of us :)
Beniyuri: ...there's...just...the two of us?
Karasuba: Haha, you say the strangest things. It's always just been the two of us :)
And she can't remember any different. She can't remember anything of the past at all. Something feels off, but she doesn't want to spoil the fun.
There's a montage of him getting her to play cards/read books etc with him. "Day after day he plays with me like a child. Our life is simple and lacks change. I feel like I'm sitting in a pool of lukewarm water but at least I'm happy." And at night, they sleep in the same bed.
Beniyuri: Why are there so many books and rooms in this house?
For a moment he frowns in confusion, like he doesn't know either.
Karasuba: Does it matter? You're overthinking things.
He moves closer, holding her still in a gentle grip. She feels paralysed and the CG is pretty rapey looking.
Karasuba: Let's play like adults, now. Can I kiss you?
Beniyuri: No...it doesn't feel right.
Karasuba: That's not much of a reason.
It feels like there is a shard of glass in her heart, sharp but beautiful, and if she accepts him, it will never come out.
He kisses her.
Karasuba: Did you like that?
Beniyuri: I said no.
Karasuba: That's not an answer. Can I kiss you again?
Beniyuri: ...
She disassociates through a still kinda rapey looking sexy CG.
Karasuba: Let's run away to the world of dreams. I'll make you forget everything. I'll forget everything but you.
Beniyuri: I don't understand.
Karasuba: Yes you do.
Beniyuri: ...this isn't reality, is it?
He kisses her again and her mind clouds. She feels like she's leaving something important behind, but she has no intention of going back to pick it up. She wants to stay here, in this comfortable place. They agree to stay together forever, and drown each other in kisses.
THE END
...ok that was WAY less rapey than I was lead to believe. Dubconny, for sure, but she eventually said yes! For a bad end otome sex scene that's almost enthusiastic consent! Though the contrast with the CGs makes me wonder if the translator softened the dubcon.
I mean he's awful, and not in a way I'm really into, but he's certainly compelling.
If I think about it for too long I wonder how he got them into the dreamworld, what happened to everyone else, etc, and those questions don't bear much scrutiny. So let's move on!
Aki Ending:
She refuses his hand.
Beniyuri: My name isn't Beniyuri. It's Ai. That's the name my parents gave me, and the one used by everyone who cares about me, who's waiting for me in the real world. Don't you have anyone like that?
Karasuba: ...
Beniyuri: I was afraid of remembering painful things. But talking to you has made me realise I have to face them. Otherwise I won't know if it's true when you say things like "You used to be my girlfriend". If I don't know myself, I can't tell my loved ones how I really feel. I want to go back to the real world, to where I can call you Aki. Let's all go together, ok?
Karasuba: ...this blows. I was hoping you'd escape reality with me, not give me a lecture about it. I can't control you...but I really do like you.
Beniyuri: !!
Karasuba: Anyway, time for bed! Thanks for lending me your shoulder, I feel much better :)
Beniyuri: ...you're welcome.
Things progress as before, all the way to everyone waking up in the real world. Just as I was thinking I'd screwed up the ending again, things change.
Ai is preparing for her first day back at school after waking up in hospital. Only a few weeks passed in the real world but she wonders how much will have changed, how far she's behind. She wears the butterfly hairpin Aki got her as a good luck charm. It lost it's glass in the accident, so all that remains is the frame. And Aki's feelings for her.
Aki himself is still recuperating, so she prepares to go to school alone- except he shows up, saying he got better a while ago but was playing hooky until she came back.
Ai: The sunshine and fresh air is so nice, it's a pity we have to go to class.
Aki: We could go have fun instead :D
Ai: ...that does sound pretty good.
Aki: Haha, yeah, I knew you'd say- WAIT WHAT o.O
Then I played through to the end and it was surprisingly sweet.
They sit at their old playground and Aki talks about how her saving him from bullying as a kid made him happy but also mortified to be saved by the girl he liked, when he should be protecting her. He just watched as she and the others drowned, and hated himself afterwards for being so weak. So when he started a new school he reinvented him as a cheerful, popular guy. But then when he saw her at the highschool opening ceremony he felt like he'd been dragged back to his childhood, reminded that all his cheerfulness was a sham.
He apologises for all the hurtful things he said and did, both before the accident and in the manor. He wanted to be strong, but just hurt her, and was just as stuck in the past as everyone else.
She apologises too. He spent ages trying to cheer her up and push her forward, but she was too stuck in the past.
And she screws up her courage and takes his hand in hers, saying she wants to move forward with him. He is blushingly flustered, but when he asks exactly what she means she chickens out and demurs.
Aki: How about a kiss then? ;)
Ai: No-no! It's too soon for that!
Aki: I was just kidding :)
Ai: (No he wasn't. But I have to stop being such a coward)
So she haltingly gets across that she would like to date him, but for them to take things slowly, at their own pace. He stares at her for a moment then gleefully pulls her into a hug.
Aki: That sounds good. I was trying to move forward too fast, and you weren't able to move at all. Between us we can find the right pace.
She hugs him back, thinking about the warmth in her chest, and how she will like him a little more each day as they move together into the future.
THE END
That was actually relatively sweet?
His dubconny skeeziness was still awful, but more sympathetic if he was so consumed with self loathing that he thought her genuinely liking him was completely impossible, so he took what he could get, and every time she pushed him away he thought "Yep, see, she would never actually like me". Like that's still BAD, but not as bad as him doing it with the intention of her eventually being dubconned into saying yes. And he's this traumatised teenager who wants to be grownup and strong but confuses that with sex and cynicism.
But they find happiness when he admits vulnerability, and she makes the first move.
Her feelings for him did lean a little platonic even in the end, which was a bit weird, but I'm going to just assume that's partly her being in denial about how she actually feels, because it makes me happier.
And now all that's left is a few more random short scenes, and the "Happy Ending".
no subject
Date: 2021-06-28 04:46 am (UTC)WELL THAT WAS A LOT OF GENDER FEELS
I'm not sure if the creators of this game intend the true villain to be toxic masculinity, but that's how I read it.
Gosh, I loved this short story scene. And yeah, lots of toxic masculinity all around! Everyone's issues seem to involve being trapped by things, and yeah, it fits.
there's a cheery shooting minigame with Karasuba gleefully shouting "Cool! Bang bang!" as I murder...her...
I had enough points so I did not do this minigame, but omg, yes! That's already creepy enough when it's just the normal minigame!
If I think about it for too long I wonder how he got them into the dreamworld, what happened to everyone else, etc, and those questions don't bear much scrutiny. So let's move on!
It really doesn't, does it! Monshiro's ending also made no sense either.
I think the world is very much shaped by thoughts, it just so happens that Hikage's desires are very strong? So anyone can change things and make pocket worlds inside the world?
From Monshiro's ending it seemed like Hikage might have been wrong about the abyss; it does have an end and it's connected to the lake. So maybe even the abyss was part of the mansion world?
...it really does not bear thinking about. It's all very symbolic and pretty though!
Her feelings for him did lean a little platonic even in the end, which was a bit weird, but I'm going to just assume that's partly her being in denial about how she actually feels, because it makes me happier.
It does feel less overtly romancey than Takuya's ending! I think I read it as less platonic but more... trying to figure out if a new relationship is right?
I do lean toward thinking that Ai liked Aki before, too, and that Karasuba was right when he said they were in a grey area where the relationship was not friends, but they weren't lovers either. So I think they're just continuing from that point; it's just that they'll actually talk about their relationship and maybe progress it.
Though it also feels like with the love confession, they focus so much more on the Real World stuff than the mansion stuff and the many, many dubcon elephants in the room there. Which makes sense from an authorial convenience perspective, because the dubcon in the mansion was rough, but feels kind of feels like awkward writing as well.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-05 07:34 am (UTC)I think the world is very much shaped by thoughts, it just so happens that Hikage's desires are very strong? So anyone can change things and make pocket worlds inside the world?
Yeah as much as any of it makes sense that seems likely.
I do lean toward thinking that Ai liked Aki before, too, and that Karasuba was right when he said they were in a grey area where the relationship was not friends, but they weren't lovers either. So I think they're just continuing from that point; it's just that they'll actually talk about their relationship and actually deny it.
That makes sense!