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I knew this was going to be sad and kept putting off playing but I FINISHED IT. I liked it more than I was expecting to, but it was indeed very sad.
Content notes: Suicide as a major theme, abuse, death, illness, trauma as villain backstory
--
I looked up spoilers and it's all going to be very tragic from here on. Specifically, not only is Hikage going to die (pretty inevitable) but so is Usagi. I mean I know she's already like a hundred years dead but SHE'S A CUTE LITTLE KID and it MAKES ME SAD.
But I want to finish the route. SO HERE WE GO.
While talking to Usagi, Beniyuri says she doesn't think Hikage likes her any more, and eventually starts crying. Usagi says it's probably time she told Beniyuri the truth: the Master is her brother.
Her parents were rich, but disliked each other, and she grew up sickly and friendless in the mansion, living a quiet life except for the big parties for foreign business partners. Her father filled the mansion with masks from abroad.
One day her father introduced a "new older brother" (who looks like a younger version of Hikage-as-Kazuya, though you can't see the eyes) He's quiet, but intelligent and kind, and the two become inseparable. We see the two of them, blonde Usagi and black haired Hikage, discussing the black and white butterflies of the book (SYMBOLISM) Usagi thinks it's sad when the black butterfly dies alone in the desert rather than be re-united with the white one in paradise, but Hikage thinks the black butterfly is happy in the end.
One day Usagi hears her parents arguing:
Mother: How dare you make your mistress's son the heir and bring further shame upon me!
Father: That girl is sickly and could die at any time. It makes more sense to raise a healthy boy as heir.
Hikage finds Usagi crying and comforts her, saying he'll always stay by her side. She notices that his voice sounds strange, and he mutters "I can endure it, if you're here".
Usagi gets sicker, and her father's business fails. The furniture and other things are sold piece by piece, and Hikage spends more and more time away from home, making sure there's enough money to pay for Usagi's medicine.
But in the end he has to rely on an uncle to procure it, and the guy just...doesn't.
*wimps out for like another month*
I DON'T DEAL WELL WITH SAD SICK LITTLE GIRLS.
*puts game on in the kitchen while I start making lunch*
Hikage: I'll get the medicine. Everything will be fine.
Usagi: And then you'll read to me again? Ok. I trust you.
*turns to put sandwich in the sandwich press*
Usagi: I died
Me: D:
Hikage shoots the uncle who screwed them over.
Hikage: Hahahaha! Humans die so easily! Death does not discriminate between the sinners and the saints!
(Ok those weren't the exact words but close enough)
Hikage becomes bitter and crazy, obsessed with bringing Usagi back to life. He hears about the kaleidoscope "from an old peddler". He spends the remainder of his fortune to hunt it down and buy it.
Hikage places the kaleidoscope by the lake, forming beautiful geometric pattern on the waters. The lake bursts into light. Hikage takes out a gun and shoots himself in the head. He falls into the shining water, and drifts to the world in between, created by the kaleidoscope between the worlds of the living and the dead.
Oh, that makes sense. The world didn't exist until Hikage created it, and that's why it's just his manor and the lake.
Usagi: After my death, I saw eternity. But after my brother used the Kaleidoscope, my death was reversed and I was brought into this world.
But Hikage had forgotten her. When he saw her face, he started clawing at his throat, crying out about how it was All Their Fault. Unsure if she should help him remember his awful history, she covered her face. He vaguely remembered her, and unable to let go of his attachments remained trapped in the manor.
Usagi: So I stayed by the side of my brother. He is the Master here.
Beniyuri: ...but where is he then?
OH RIGHT. USAGI DIDN'T SAY IT WAS HIKAGE.
But then she tells Beniyuri the truth. He stole Yamato's brother's face. All you have in this place is your self: your thoughts, memories, attachments, and imagination. If you will it hard enough, you can create anything. But since Hikage created this place after reading books of black magic beyond human comprehension, his thoughts rule over all. That's why their weapons are handguns: it's the last thing he held before he died.
He can also read bits and pieces of other people's memories, even things they've forgotten themselves in this place. But not Usasgi, because she has already died.
The only memories that remain within Hikage are his hatred, and his attachment to the kaleidoscope. These feelings grow stronger over time, and now he is a demonic creature that enjoys warping people's hopes into despair. Yet Usagi still helps him, because despite everything she wants him to regain his humanity.
Usagi: I'm so sorry. I thought if he fell in love with you, he might return to the other side filled with love. But I just caused you to be hurt.
Beniyuri thinks back on Hikage's behaviour and says she thinks part of Usagi's brother is still in there, and she should tell him the truth, as his sister.
Usagi: That's dangerous, it might drag you into our mess.
Me: Kinda late for that, Usagi.
Beniyuri: I want that. I want to know if the time we spent together was a lie. I want to understand him. I want to try, one last time. So, let's see him together.
Me, knowing roughly how this all ends: ;_;
Beniyuri tells Hikage to meet her in the entrance hall at night, and Usagi comes out and stands by her side.
Hikage: So you're the reason Beniyuri has been acting strange. I never trusted you, but I at least thought you were an ally in completing the kaleidoscope. Yet you've both been conspiring against me!
Usagi: :(
Beniyuri: She tells me you're the master. When I was in danger you saved me, when I was upset you comforted me. Was it all a lie?
Hikage: Yes :D
Beniyuri: :( But why do you even want the kaleidoscope? What is your wish?
Hikage: Destruction. I have no memories yet am assaulted by emotions of anger and despair. The innocent souls who follow will suffer as I do and I will live amongst their despair :D
Beniyuri: D:
Hikage: At least...that was the only thought I had... :(
Usagi: Brother, this is meaningless.
Hikage: Why do you know so much about me? Why do you obey me? Why do you call me that??
I mean...Ockham's razor, Hikage...
Usagi quails and Beniyuri comforts her, standing between them, and trying to get Hikage to remember his sister, and why he really cared about the kaleidoscope.
Hikage, consumed with physical and emotional pain: SHUT UP, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT??
Beniyuri: I think of you as a friend, Hikage. No, more than that, I care about you.
Hikage: STUPID
Beniyuri: The kaleidoscope can't grant wishes. It can only connect this world to the next. Nothing will change.
Hikage: D:
Beniyuri: I can't understand what you've suffered. But there is no happiness to be found amongst screams of despair. I want you to remember what warmth and happiness feel like. So please, try to remember Usagi. Remember your sister.
Hikage: I HAVE NO SISTER. I HAVE NO FRIENDS. ...Of course! You just want to steal the kaleidoscope! You're a sly one, you nearly had me.
Beniyuri keeps trying to persuade him but he becomes increasingly angry (Ok, I take back any "Why didn't Usagi just tell him earlier" qualms) Eventually he screams for her to stay back and there is a flash of white...
...and Usagi is shot, saving Beniyuri's life.
Beniyuri: Must staunch bleeding D: D:
Usagi: Please...take off my mask...
Hikage: D:
Beniyuri: Why did you protect me? He was so close to remembering you!
Usagi: It's...all right. Thanks to you...I can finally see my brother...
Hikage: You, you are...
Usagi: Brother, I'm sorry...I hid my face. If your memory returned, what would you be like? Would our relationship have changed at all? I kept asking myself, and couldn't reveal myself to you.
Oh that is so much sadder.
Usagi: Brother, no matter what you've become... I will always love you. Goodbye.
Her body glows bright, and dissolves into a radiant kaleidoscope of white butterflies that disperse into the air.
Hikage screams as his memories finally return. Beniyuri holds him as he cries "I let her die, I let her die again!"
Cam, wandering past the computer: What is all that screaming?
Me: He just shot his sister who he sacrificed his life to save.
Cam: Well that was dumb.
Me: Yeah, it kinda was.
(I feel sorry for him and sad but also UGH, Usagi and Beniyuri deserve to sail off into the sunset together as sensible nice bffs who don't try to solve all their problems by SHOOTING PEOPLE)
Time passes. He calms down, and softly asks Beniyuri if she still wants to hear the truth about him. Because his whole life is made of lies.
She says yes.
He was the illegitimate child of a woman of the slums, who hated and abused him. When his father suddenly took him in, Usagi's mother started abusing Hikage in her turn. I get the feeling their dad just saw Hikage as a useful healthy heir rather than caring for him as a son. So Hikage learned to flatter and play the good son, while hating them both.
Ohhh. So he was always a lying manipulator filled with resentment, it's not something he became in this place due to grief. That makes a lot more sense. And is much sadder! He was fucked over every step of the way.
The only person who cared for him, and who he cared for in return, was his half-sister Usagi. He lied to her too, saying everything would be all right even when he knew there was no way to get the medicine, and doing whatever was necessary to try and keep her alive. He no longer had any sense of his true self. When she died, he had no more reason to pretend to be good. By the time he found the kaleidoscope, a lot of time had passed, and he felt so changed that he wasn't sure she'd recognise him any more.
I wonder how old he was. Had his hair gone grey?
He destroyed the kaleidoscope, scattering the shards, and shot himself.
But the kaleidoscope was already active, and he ended up in this world in-between, far from Psychedelica, not even recognising the sister he'd been seeking all this time.
Hikage: My life and death were rife with lies. I was weak, and accomplished nothing. That is the real me.
Beniyuri: When you told her "it will be all right", it wasn't a lie, it was an honest wish. You created this place with the strength of your desire to see her. And the Hikage in front of me, the kind timid Hikage who loves his sister, isn't a lie.
Hikage: You really are a busybody. Always sticking your nose in despite how much I warn you...*he smiles gently* but when I'm with you I feel like I'm alive again. If I'd met you while I was alive...if you'd been by my side, you would have seen through my deception and forced me to be honest.
He touches her face, and leans up towards her. Beniuyuri blushes, but he was just taking her hairpin.
Hikage: Heh, you're always dreaming of romance. It's the last shard of the kaleidoscope.
Beniyuri: How did that get there?
Hikage: No idea. You have surpassed my expectations in every way. You will use this to return to the land of the living.
And then he stands up and starts to walk away.
Beniyuti: Where are you going?
Hikage: Always such a busybody. *he grips his handgun* My body has long since rotted away. I cannot return.
Beniyuri tries to run to him, but trips. I found this annoying until she KEPT tripping and it became clear that this was Hikage's power at work.
Hikage: The black butterfly with dirty wings falls in the desert. A fitting end, given the crimes I have committed. But I found Psychedelica. This in-between world is Psychedelica itself.
His eyes shine with joy and he gives her the biggest smile she's ever seen.
Hikage: Goodbye, Beniyuri. You are my.,..
And then he shoots himself. His body dissolves into a kaleidoscope of white and black butterflies, flying up into the heavens.
Beniyuri cries, and wonders: Where are they going? Is it peaceful there?
The closing credits roll.
Beniyuri wakes in a hospital bed. She's told she was in a bus crash by the lake.
Hinako: Why are you crying, sis?
Ai: It's nothing :(
How can she tell them she was in love?
Some time later she is drawn to the manor. But it's gone, torn down years ago after too many accidents. There's just the island, and the lake.
She sets a flower on the lake as an offering.
Ai: Hikage, you're so cruel. You got to say everything you wanted and then left without hearing what I had to say.
She remembers Hikage's touch on her cheek, and wonders what they would be like, if they were both reborn and got to meet.
She sees children playing and thinks of the past. But she is determined to move forward, and think of the future.
Girl: Brother, look at that butterfly! Isn't it pretty?
THE END
Ahh, that was more effectively sad than I was expecting. I got the impression it was just a sequence of tragic misunderstandings and coincidences, but the tragedy ran much deeper than that. Usagi and Hikage were both actively trying to avoid remembering who they were, and what happened to them, paralysed by trauma and the fear that they weren't lovable any more to the only person who'd ever loved them. Obviously Usagi had a lot less reason to feel this way, but I can imagine that Hikage screaming and clawing at himself when he saw her face didn't help.
I still kind of don't think of Hikage's feelings for Beniyuri as romantic. He obviously cared about her a lot, and was probably attracted to her, but was too old and messed up and plausibly aromantic. So mostly I'm glad that a version of him and Usagi got to live a happy life, and that Beniyuri and the others did too. And maybe Ai and these new versions of Hikage and Usagi can be friends.
Let's assume Kagiha got to reincarnate as well. Also an adult reincarnation of Hikage existing when Beniyuri wasn't in a coma long enough for her sister to grow up requires some timey wimey shenanigans, but it doesn't feel intuitively implausible to me.
Going to take a break, and then hopefully see an actually happy ending.
I knew this was going to be sad and kept putting off playing but I FINISHED IT. I liked it more than I was expecting to, but it was indeed very sad.
Content notes: Suicide as a major theme, abuse, death, illness, trauma as villain backstory
--
I looked up spoilers and it's all going to be very tragic from here on. Specifically, not only is Hikage going to die (pretty inevitable) but so is Usagi. I mean I know she's already like a hundred years dead but SHE'S A CUTE LITTLE KID and it MAKES ME SAD.
But I want to finish the route. SO HERE WE GO.
While talking to Usagi, Beniyuri says she doesn't think Hikage likes her any more, and eventually starts crying. Usagi says it's probably time she told Beniyuri the truth: the Master is her brother.
Her parents were rich, but disliked each other, and she grew up sickly and friendless in the mansion, living a quiet life except for the big parties for foreign business partners. Her father filled the mansion with masks from abroad.
One day her father introduced a "new older brother" (who looks like a younger version of Hikage-as-Kazuya, though you can't see the eyes) He's quiet, but intelligent and kind, and the two become inseparable. We see the two of them, blonde Usagi and black haired Hikage, discussing the black and white butterflies of the book (SYMBOLISM) Usagi thinks it's sad when the black butterfly dies alone in the desert rather than be re-united with the white one in paradise, but Hikage thinks the black butterfly is happy in the end.
One day Usagi hears her parents arguing:
Mother: How dare you make your mistress's son the heir and bring further shame upon me!
Father: That girl is sickly and could die at any time. It makes more sense to raise a healthy boy as heir.
Hikage finds Usagi crying and comforts her, saying he'll always stay by her side. She notices that his voice sounds strange, and he mutters "I can endure it, if you're here".
Usagi gets sicker, and her father's business fails. The furniture and other things are sold piece by piece, and Hikage spends more and more time away from home, making sure there's enough money to pay for Usagi's medicine.
But in the end he has to rely on an uncle to procure it, and the guy just...doesn't.
*wimps out for like another month*
I DON'T DEAL WELL WITH SAD SICK LITTLE GIRLS.
*puts game on in the kitchen while I start making lunch*
Hikage: I'll get the medicine. Everything will be fine.
Usagi: And then you'll read to me again? Ok. I trust you.
*turns to put sandwich in the sandwich press*
Usagi: I died
Me: D:
Hikage shoots the uncle who screwed them over.
Hikage: Hahahaha! Humans die so easily! Death does not discriminate between the sinners and the saints!
(Ok those weren't the exact words but close enough)
Hikage becomes bitter and crazy, obsessed with bringing Usagi back to life. He hears about the kaleidoscope "from an old peddler". He spends the remainder of his fortune to hunt it down and buy it.
Hikage places the kaleidoscope by the lake, forming beautiful geometric pattern on the waters. The lake bursts into light. Hikage takes out a gun and shoots himself in the head. He falls into the shining water, and drifts to the world in between, created by the kaleidoscope between the worlds of the living and the dead.
Oh, that makes sense. The world didn't exist until Hikage created it, and that's why it's just his manor and the lake.
Usagi: After my death, I saw eternity. But after my brother used the Kaleidoscope, my death was reversed and I was brought into this world.
But Hikage had forgotten her. When he saw her face, he started clawing at his throat, crying out about how it was All Their Fault. Unsure if she should help him remember his awful history, she covered her face. He vaguely remembered her, and unable to let go of his attachments remained trapped in the manor.
Usagi: So I stayed by the side of my brother. He is the Master here.
Beniyuri: ...but where is he then?
OH RIGHT. USAGI DIDN'T SAY IT WAS HIKAGE.
But then she tells Beniyuri the truth. He stole Yamato's brother's face. All you have in this place is your self: your thoughts, memories, attachments, and imagination. If you will it hard enough, you can create anything. But since Hikage created this place after reading books of black magic beyond human comprehension, his thoughts rule over all. That's why their weapons are handguns: it's the last thing he held before he died.
He can also read bits and pieces of other people's memories, even things they've forgotten themselves in this place. But not Usasgi, because she has already died.
The only memories that remain within Hikage are his hatred, and his attachment to the kaleidoscope. These feelings grow stronger over time, and now he is a demonic creature that enjoys warping people's hopes into despair. Yet Usagi still helps him, because despite everything she wants him to regain his humanity.
Usagi: I'm so sorry. I thought if he fell in love with you, he might return to the other side filled with love. But I just caused you to be hurt.
Beniyuri thinks back on Hikage's behaviour and says she thinks part of Usagi's brother is still in there, and she should tell him the truth, as his sister.
Usagi: That's dangerous, it might drag you into our mess.
Me: Kinda late for that, Usagi.
Beniyuri: I want that. I want to know if the time we spent together was a lie. I want to understand him. I want to try, one last time. So, let's see him together.
Me, knowing roughly how this all ends: ;_;
Beniyuri tells Hikage to meet her in the entrance hall at night, and Usagi comes out and stands by her side.
Hikage: So you're the reason Beniyuri has been acting strange. I never trusted you, but I at least thought you were an ally in completing the kaleidoscope. Yet you've both been conspiring against me!
Usagi: :(
Beniyuri: She tells me you're the master. When I was in danger you saved me, when I was upset you comforted me. Was it all a lie?
Hikage: Yes :D
Beniyuri: :( But why do you even want the kaleidoscope? What is your wish?
Hikage: Destruction. I have no memories yet am assaulted by emotions of anger and despair. The innocent souls who follow will suffer as I do and I will live amongst their despair :D
Beniyuri: D:
Hikage: At least...that was the only thought I had... :(
Usagi: Brother, this is meaningless.
Hikage: Why do you know so much about me? Why do you obey me? Why do you call me that??
I mean...Ockham's razor, Hikage...
Usagi quails and Beniyuri comforts her, standing between them, and trying to get Hikage to remember his sister, and why he really cared about the kaleidoscope.
Hikage, consumed with physical and emotional pain: SHUT UP, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT??
Beniyuri: I think of you as a friend, Hikage. No, more than that, I care about you.
Hikage: STUPID
Beniyuri: The kaleidoscope can't grant wishes. It can only connect this world to the next. Nothing will change.
Hikage: D:
Beniyuri: I can't understand what you've suffered. But there is no happiness to be found amongst screams of despair. I want you to remember what warmth and happiness feel like. So please, try to remember Usagi. Remember your sister.
Hikage: I HAVE NO SISTER. I HAVE NO FRIENDS. ...Of course! You just want to steal the kaleidoscope! You're a sly one, you nearly had me.
Beniyuri keeps trying to persuade him but he becomes increasingly angry (Ok, I take back any "Why didn't Usagi just tell him earlier" qualms) Eventually he screams for her to stay back and there is a flash of white...
...and Usagi is shot, saving Beniyuri's life.
Beniyuri: Must staunch bleeding D: D:
Usagi: Please...take off my mask...
Hikage: D:
Beniyuri: Why did you protect me? He was so close to remembering you!
Usagi: It's...all right. Thanks to you...I can finally see my brother...
Hikage: You, you are...
Usagi: Brother, I'm sorry...I hid my face. If your memory returned, what would you be like? Would our relationship have changed at all? I kept asking myself, and couldn't reveal myself to you.
Oh that is so much sadder.
Usagi: Brother, no matter what you've become... I will always love you. Goodbye.
Her body glows bright, and dissolves into a radiant kaleidoscope of white butterflies that disperse into the air.
Hikage screams as his memories finally return. Beniyuri holds him as he cries "I let her die, I let her die again!"
Cam, wandering past the computer: What is all that screaming?
Me: He just shot his sister who he sacrificed his life to save.
Cam: Well that was dumb.
Me: Yeah, it kinda was.
(I feel sorry for him and sad but also UGH, Usagi and Beniyuri deserve to sail off into the sunset together as sensible nice bffs who don't try to solve all their problems by SHOOTING PEOPLE)
Time passes. He calms down, and softly asks Beniyuri if she still wants to hear the truth about him. Because his whole life is made of lies.
She says yes.
He was the illegitimate child of a woman of the slums, who hated and abused him. When his father suddenly took him in, Usagi's mother started abusing Hikage in her turn. I get the feeling their dad just saw Hikage as a useful healthy heir rather than caring for him as a son. So Hikage learned to flatter and play the good son, while hating them both.
Ohhh. So he was always a lying manipulator filled with resentment, it's not something he became in this place due to grief. That makes a lot more sense. And is much sadder! He was fucked over every step of the way.
The only person who cared for him, and who he cared for in return, was his half-sister Usagi. He lied to her too, saying everything would be all right even when he knew there was no way to get the medicine, and doing whatever was necessary to try and keep her alive. He no longer had any sense of his true self. When she died, he had no more reason to pretend to be good. By the time he found the kaleidoscope, a lot of time had passed, and he felt so changed that he wasn't sure she'd recognise him any more.
I wonder how old he was. Had his hair gone grey?
He destroyed the kaleidoscope, scattering the shards, and shot himself.
But the kaleidoscope was already active, and he ended up in this world in-between, far from Psychedelica, not even recognising the sister he'd been seeking all this time.
Hikage: My life and death were rife with lies. I was weak, and accomplished nothing. That is the real me.
Beniyuri: When you told her "it will be all right", it wasn't a lie, it was an honest wish. You created this place with the strength of your desire to see her. And the Hikage in front of me, the kind timid Hikage who loves his sister, isn't a lie.
Hikage: You really are a busybody. Always sticking your nose in despite how much I warn you...*he smiles gently* but when I'm with you I feel like I'm alive again. If I'd met you while I was alive...if you'd been by my side, you would have seen through my deception and forced me to be honest.
He touches her face, and leans up towards her. Beniuyuri blushes, but he was just taking her hairpin.
Hikage: Heh, you're always dreaming of romance. It's the last shard of the kaleidoscope.
Beniyuri: How did that get there?
Hikage: No idea. You have surpassed my expectations in every way. You will use this to return to the land of the living.
And then he stands up and starts to walk away.
Beniyuti: Where are you going?
Hikage: Always such a busybody. *he grips his handgun* My body has long since rotted away. I cannot return.
Beniyuri tries to run to him, but trips. I found this annoying until she KEPT tripping and it became clear that this was Hikage's power at work.
Hikage: The black butterfly with dirty wings falls in the desert. A fitting end, given the crimes I have committed. But I found Psychedelica. This in-between world is Psychedelica itself.
His eyes shine with joy and he gives her the biggest smile she's ever seen.
Hikage: Goodbye, Beniyuri. You are my.,..
And then he shoots himself. His body dissolves into a kaleidoscope of white and black butterflies, flying up into the heavens.
Beniyuri cries, and wonders: Where are they going? Is it peaceful there?
The closing credits roll.
Beniyuri wakes in a hospital bed. She's told she was in a bus crash by the lake.
Hinako: Why are you crying, sis?
Ai: It's nothing :(
How can she tell them she was in love?
Some time later she is drawn to the manor. But it's gone, torn down years ago after too many accidents. There's just the island, and the lake.
She sets a flower on the lake as an offering.
Ai: Hikage, you're so cruel. You got to say everything you wanted and then left without hearing what I had to say.
She remembers Hikage's touch on her cheek, and wonders what they would be like, if they were both reborn and got to meet.
She sees children playing and thinks of the past. But she is determined to move forward, and think of the future.
Girl: Brother, look at that butterfly! Isn't it pretty?
THE END
Ahh, that was more effectively sad than I was expecting. I got the impression it was just a sequence of tragic misunderstandings and coincidences, but the tragedy ran much deeper than that. Usagi and Hikage were both actively trying to avoid remembering who they were, and what happened to them, paralysed by trauma and the fear that they weren't lovable any more to the only person who'd ever loved them. Obviously Usagi had a lot less reason to feel this way, but I can imagine that Hikage screaming and clawing at himself when he saw her face didn't help.
I still kind of don't think of Hikage's feelings for Beniyuri as romantic. He obviously cared about her a lot, and was probably attracted to her, but was too old and messed up and plausibly aromantic. So mostly I'm glad that a version of him and Usagi got to live a happy life, and that Beniyuri and the others did too. And maybe Ai and these new versions of Hikage and Usagi can be friends.
Let's assume Kagiha got to reincarnate as well. Also an adult reincarnation of Hikage existing when Beniyuri wasn't in a coma long enough for her sister to grow up requires some timey wimey shenanigans, but it doesn't feel intuitively implausible to me.
Going to take a break, and then hopefully see an actually happy ending.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-26 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-07-27 12:17 pm (UTC)It was!
no subject
Date: 2021-06-20 05:08 pm (UTC)Hikage: Hahahaha! Humans die so easily! Death does not discriminate between the sinners and the saints!
(Ok those weren't the exact words but close enough)
...you're RIGHT.
(I feel sorry for him and sad but also UGH, Usagi and Beniyuri deserve to sail off into the sunset together as sensible nice bffs who don't try to solve all their problems by SHOOTING PEOPLE)
Yes, REALLY.
I wonder how old he was. Had his hair gone grey?
Haha, I was assuming years meant "...like, five years". I think there are enough hints that it was longer, but... I'm just going to keep on believing this because I don't want to think too hard about older Hikage!
Usagi and Hikage were both actively trying to avoid remembering who they were, and what happened to them, paralysed by trauma and the fear that they weren't lovable any more to the only person who'd ever loved them. Obviously Usagi had a lot less reason to feel this way, but I can imagine that Hikage screaming and clawing at himself when he saw her face didn't help.
Yeah! I like how it turns out that Hikage was also trying to avoid remembering, just like Beniyuri, which probably fed into how contemptuous and mean he was to her in the Best Ending. And it totally makes sense now that he's both admiring and contemptuous of her honesty.
I imagine the "screaming and clawing" was a lot. I think by the time of the story, Usagi really was genuinely terrified of Hikage and what he had become at that point and had probably seen him gleefully twist a bunch of other people into monsters. I would not be surprised if he also avoided her a bunch, too, and only talked to her when he needed to use her, so there may have just been very few opportunities over the last hundred years for them to talk.
I feel like Hikage's ending helped me understand Kagiha's ending better. Like, the partial memory and fixation that Hikage has probably applies to Kagiha, too. In general, they both feel like very restless ghosts to me.
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Date: 2021-06-27 04:41 am (UTC)I would not be surprised if he also avoided her a bunch, too, and only talked to her when he needed to use her, so there may have just been very few opportunities over the last hundred years for them to talk.
nods sadly
I feel like Hikage's ending helped me understand Kagiha's ending better. Like, the partial memory and fixation that Hikage has probably applies to Kagiha, too. In general, they both feel like very restless ghosts to me.
Oh that's a good point :(