True love through spite and bitterness

[alias_sqbr]

girliejones asked people to describe "how they met their honey" and I decided it was going to take me long enough I might as well do it as a post. Keep in mind I am tired and grumpy, I may decided to write it up better again one day :)

So: I'm a rather unromantic, neurotic sort of person. I'm not big on flirting, and overall pretty crap at chatting people up. Luckily circumstances interfered when I met Cam.

The short version is: We met at a party.

The loooong version is....

Turn your mind back to December 1998. I was at that time a much shyer, more self conscious person, barely 19 and in the middle of breaking up with my first boyfriend. Until I met my Evil Ex I'd had very low self esteem and felt sure noone would ever want to go out with me. But after a few months of "No, seriously, I'm breaking up with you, I don't care how certain you are that I love you deep down", and having another guy (unsuccessfully) asking me out, (plus that whole thing with the french maids outfit(*)) I felt both very attractive and completely uninterested in a relationship.

Cameron's journey had been similar, although his ex was more annoying than evil. She was also visiting on holiday and being incredibly clingy.

Cue vegetus's 18th birthday party. I was somehow introduced to this new guy and a female friend (girlfriend?) and they sat next to me.
It turned out he and I were both starting 3rd year computer science that year, and we immediately bonded when we realised we'd both had Amstrads as our first computer back in the 80s. This was fun but I felt kind of bad for leaving his maybe-girlfriend out of the conversation. Until the guy who'd asked me out walked into the room and looked at me like he wanted to talk. Staying where I was suddenly seemed like a really good idea, and we talked until late into the evening.

Later that month gelignite invited me to a PUCS concert. I looked into the choir and recognised a bunch of people I knew..including Cam. I'd felt like there might be a spark between us at the party but wasn't sure how one dealt with that sort of thing. We chatted again the post-concert party(**). I kind of felt like we were maybe flirting and felt self conscious and then thought of my ex making me promise not to date anyone for a few months to "give us time to work things out". "Screw him" I thought, and flirted.

Cam meanwhile was feeling annoyed at his ex for hanging onto his arm and acting like they were still dating and so thought "Screw her!" and flirted back with me.

And thus two self conscious nerds are badgered by fate into flirting out of spite (At this point we thought each other cute and likable, but were still too bitter to be actually looking for a relationship)

Several months passed and uni began. Both exes had finally gone away and the novelty value of being single was beginning to wear off. Cam joined unisfa (apparently me being a member was definitely part of this decision) and the two of us spent much of our time chatting and flirting in the clubroom when we should be going to our Functional programming tutorials.

I thought about it and decided that looking for True Love and waiting for fate to take it's course had gotten me with a manipulative sleazy prat like my ex, and what I needed to do was choose someone nice and non-threatening for a low-key rebound relationship(***). Cam was nice and non-threatening, and kind of cute, and seemed to like me. The trick was getting him to ask me out.

We were both at an M² party. I spent the evening doing my best to flirt with intent. Cam seemed completely immune. As the evening wound down I decided my plan was obviously doomed and maybe I should just wait for Fate. I found myself sitting by myself next to a pile of people making out and decided to go sit in a quieter part of the party while I waited for my dad to come pick me up, and so walked over and sat next to Cam.

He meanwhile had totally missed all my previous attempts at flirting, but saw me sitting next to him as a Sign. So he put his hand on my back. I didn't say "OMG STOP TOUCHING ME EW EW" which was my usual response to invasions of my personal space and he thought "Dear God! She really likes me!

And then my dad arrived.

The next Monday at uni I walked up to unisfa first thing to find him sitting alone on a couch. Had I misread the situation? Was he interested in me? I sat next to him. We held hands. Saying nothing of it, we sat holding hands and chatting cheerfully for several hours. It was awesome.

Walking down the stairs for our lecture Cam said "Are we going out?"
I replied "I think so".

And then he got food poisoning for a week, and then we had our first date and the rest is history :D

(Well, ok, I was still messed up enough from my ex that it took me a while to stop assuming everything was Doomed to turn Horrible, but deep down I knew pretty quickly that Cam was my soulmate (my unsentimental side hates using the word but it's the best description. I know, awww))

(*)A slave auction was involved
(**)I felt weird turning up to a party where I didn't know the host but she was very friendly in an older, intimidatingly cool sort of way. It's only recently that I suddenly realised that that was lauredhel (who I have been chatting to online for a year or so, but didn't think I had ever "met").
(***)I'm still not sure what I think of 19 year old me's logic

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

This is a lovely story, thanks for sharing it!

I think two self conscious nerds, badgered by fate, flirting out of spite would make a great greeting card line :,)

[alias_sqbr]

It's a love story for the ages :D

[nixwilliams.livejournal.com]

awww indeed! :D :D :D

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[elaran.livejournal.com]

*flails with squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

I mean. Yes. :D

what I needed to do was choose someone nice and non-threatening for a low-key rebound relationship(***)... (***)I'm still not sure what I think of 19 year old me's logic
ahahahahahaha that's kinda awesome.

everything was Doomed to turn Horrible
lol I do that but I think that has more to do with the fact that I am uh, slightly pessimistic. And by slightly I mean very.

Re: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[alias_sqbr]

Oh I'm pessimistic too. I still work on the assumption that Cam and I will break up at some point (I tried not thinking this way with my ex and didn't go to a healthy place. This article made me feel much more justified in this).

[nico-wolfwood.livejournal.com]

thus two self conscious nerds are badgered by fate into flirting out of spite

Can I just say that sounds like something out of Shakespeare? LOL (And I still love that comic BTW)

[alias_sqbr]

Two nerds, both alike in spite,
In fair unisfa where we lay our scene...

[nico-wolfwood.livejournal.com]

Exactly the line I was thinking of!