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alias_sqbrMasterlist and guide
So I originally had little interest in the CollarxMalice sequel game, CollarxMalice: Unlimited, since I assumed it would be $75 worth of post-canon fluff which I wouldn't enjoy enough for the price and length. I'm all about the emotional arcs and drama!
But I was left slightly wanting by the base CollarxMalice Shiraishi ending, both in terms of gaps in his backstory and being curious about what happened next. I looked up a review of his CollarxMalice: Unlimited route and it was like "I wanted sexy post-canon fluff like all the other routes, but instead got G-rated flashbacks, character exploration, and plot".
Which made me think I might enjoy his route, and his route only, so I watched it on youtube.
And I did enjoy it, and that sense of niggling dissatisfaction is gone. I didn't LIKE all the answers it gave me but at least I got them. It's fairly romantic, in a bittersweet-angst-followed-by-hugs kinda way, but not at all sexy, the main character herself assumes he's asexual until one of the extras (when it turns out he isn't, but you could definitely read him as demisexual with a very slow fuse)
It's also, just...the kind of mix of angst, drama, and fluff where at one point a terrorist threatens to kill civilians unless the couple goes on a date at an amusement park. It digs a LOT into Shiraishi's trauma, but...I can see why the most popular fic on the AO3 for this canon has the premise "Shiraishi gets some actual therapy".
But I liked the overall theme of recovering from trauma and guilt, and carving out a happy life under difficult circumstances.
Not sure if I'll watch any other routes, or just put the game on my wishlist and buy it if it's ever significantly on sale.
Content note: Violence, death, suicide, child harm, fantasy slavery
It's a year and a bit after X-Day, a few months after Ichika regained her memory and returned to her usual life.
Oh no, of course, Ichika only found out Zero was Saeki after she killed him. So she is understandably still haunted by it and his memory.
After he turned himself in Shiraishi insisted they were just friends during his interrogations to protect her. His faith in her is what inspired her to return to work.
She only remembers their year underground vaguely, but remembers that he always looked sad.
Shiriashi sent Yanagi letters: How is the black cat I asked you to to look after? I hope to play with her again soon. She gets dejected even at the best of times. If she's down tell her some kind words. Cook her something tasty. I somewhat regret not taking the time to observe your culinary skills while I had the chance. If anything happens to her I'd have to break off our friendship.
Yanagi: You wouldn't be writing him back directly, but I think we can tell him how the black cat is doing.
...so Ichika helps Yanagi and Shiraishi and Yanagi connect on Yanagi's path, and Yanagi helps Shiriashi and Ichika on Shiriashi's. Ok :D
Yanagi: He'll probably keep sending long letters out of spite until we reply. And I wouldn't want anything to happen to our friendship.
"We put our heads together to write things Shiriashi would want to hear"
FLASHBACK TO SHIRAISHI AND MIKUNI AS KIDS IN THE CULT
Jesus.
So. Tiny sailor suited Mikuni asked to speak to the most talented in the training facility. He encouraged Shiriashi's questions about the outside world, something noone had ever done before. Normally Shiraishi wouldn't even be allowed to speak to someone of Mikuni's stature. At this point I think Mikuni is maybe 13 to Shiraishi's 16?
Mikuni: That is correct. You are the gold standard among our organisation's puppets.
No. 14: Thank you, sir. I am honoured.
Mikuni: Is there anything you wish for?
No. 14: I have no need for such emotions.
Mikuni: Indeed. However, once this country is reborn, we will know peace. I'd like even dolls such as yourselves to have a wish fulfilled at that time.
No. 14: Why?
Mikuni: Call it my own ego. In the future I believe in, you will be allowed to have such desires.
No. 14: We are tools to carry out your wishes. I could not ask for anything more.
Mikuni: That's not...never mind. How foolish of me to assume you are a human like me. Such petty delusions are unbefitting of a leader of apostles.
No. 14: ....I would like to become someone irreplaceable...I'm terribly sorry sir. I will accept any punishment.
Mikuni: I didn't hear anything.
(you can see a watermark there for Nekochang, whose let's play I watched)
Shiriashi wakes from the dream and wonders if it was because his prison cell reminds him of the facility. He wasn't ever officially indicted, because he's too useful, and instead is staying in... Special Protections?
He thinks back over everyone he met after leaving the facility, which was known as "The sandbox".
When Shiraishi met Yanagi he thought he was just unusually tolerant, and teased him to see how far he could take it. But Yanagi just lectured him and put up with it and then cooked him delicious meals.
"While Okazaki's gentle demeaor was alluring, I always had to be on my guard around him"
Is 'alluring' really the right word there, translator?
Of Mukai: "It was rather refreshing to have an acquaintance who despise me so thoroughly"
Flashback to when Ichika had amnesia:
She reminded him of his younger self. "My emotions had been faint, in a way it had been the happiest time of my life." Part of him wanted to keep her this way and he despised himself as a selfish coward. But Ichika was always moving forward.
Aww even as an amnesiac she 'knitted' him a little cat doll because she knew he liked cats. (It is very clearly crochet, translator) His voice with her is higher and more earnest.
Shiraishi thinks "I wanted to return the kindness you gave to me...no, more than that, I wanted to serve you"
He reminisces about failing to cook for her, then trails off berating himself for telling such a not-her-doctor memory, but she just grabs his hands and shows him how to crochet which he is super into. He quietly thinks that this uses the skills he learned CREATING AMMUNITION AND MIXING POISONS lol
Present time:
Back in his cell, Shiriashi wonders if he is someone irreplaceable now, and how Mikuni would feel about that...if Shiriashi hadn't murdered him in cold blood. Shiriashi feels it his obligation to understand Mikuni, as his friend, his subordinate, the man who killed him, and as a human being.
Guard 1: One of the Adonis prisoners has escaped so I'm checking down here.
Guard 2: He's been well behaved so far.
Guard 1: That kind of complacency will get you killed!
At work, Ichika hears other officers muttering that she has a lot of nerve coming back as a known associate of a terrorist. And then Sakuragawa gives them a piece of her mind before inviting Ichika to come drinking.
Sakuragawa and Mukai have both decided it's time to find husbands because they're approaching 30 and sick of being alone, and approach the problem with all the romance and joy of a doomed military campaign. Sakuragawa says she's been too busy working to maintain any of her relationships and sounds more irritated than heartbroken about it.
Ichika suggests a cute feminine dress for Mukai and a miniskirt for Sakuragawa, who's dubious about wearing a skirt at all.
Mukai: Ahh to show off her long beautiful legs!
Ichika: ...I guess? Also the embroidery is really cute.
Sakuragawa: That's not really my style.
Mukai: We'll have to try some on to be sure. You can't go hunting without a weapon. We can get matching accessories!
Sakuragawa: Mukai would be pretty attractive, if she kept her mouth shut.
...ok I still think Sakuragawa is a butch lesbian, but I'm not sure she knows.
Ichika is checking on all the stray cats for him ;_;
Ichika reminisces about her date with Shiraishi. Curious how she'd react, he'd kissed her on the cheek, and would absolutely have experimented with kissing her further if she hadn't objected that they didn't have that kind of relationship.
Ichika realises she's being followed. She bumps into Enomoto who is looking for a lost dog on behalf of a client of his and Yanagi's detective agency.
An Adonis letter demands Shiraishi be released to stop another X-Day countdown. The letter from Shiriashi was in Japanese in the CG, but this one is in English, so maybe it's actually in English? Adonis seems to use English a lot and I have NO IDEA what this signifies.
CHAPTER TWO
A politician called has been killed with an Adonis countdown number of IX. But he has no known criminal history, and there's no video.
The police know everything this time and Okazaki is assigned to protect her. He's pulled his hair back and is wearing his suit a little more properly, it's a cute look.
Minegishi comes to ask Shiriashi's advice, and is fairly nice about it.
Shiriashi is naturally not happy about Ichika being targeted. He knew the politician from an old case. He doesn't recognise the escaped Adonis agent, Kurose, or know why he'd care about a defected pawn like Shiraishi.
Minegishi gives Shiraishi a phone, saying it's bugged and not to do anything stupid.
Shiraishi: Hi Yanagi. I'm helping with the investigation. So...how's the black cat...I know you're looking after her but I worry when I can't see her face...
Yanagi: I know how you feel. She's fine. Enomoto just gave her some donuts.
Shiraishi: I'm glad he's still an airhead.
Yanagi: Don't say that, he's worried about you.
Shiraishi: I know. He sent me a pile of books about history and romance.
Yanagi and Ichika are glad Shiriashi hasn't changed.
Ichika attends a conference in Investigations where Shiraishi assists via video. There are mistrustful mutterings from the other officers.
Shiraishi doesn't recognise the escapee, Kurose, but says Adonis operatives didn't meet much. He says dispassionately "Feelings of camaraderie could lead to emotions that might cause us to question orders. The only emotions we were allowed to feel were respect and obedience to our superiors. We don't act without orders from above."
But the Adonis leaders are dead. Are they old orders? What is Kurose's actual goal? Just revenge against Shiraishi?
Shiraishi says letting Kurose kill him wouldn't fix things, like he thought about it. But he's willing to make a useful sacrifice. He looks out at Ichika before saying he won't throuw himself away because he has something to live for.
Ichika is VERY UPSET by this but Sasazuka gives her a quelling look before she makes a scene and gets kicked out of the room.
MUKAI GOT ATTACKED D: Shiriashi's calm expression breaks and he makes sure she's ok. Luckily she fought off her attacker, who shouted "Death to the traitor".
Even though she JUST escaped a murder attempt she comes to the meeting to calmly make her report.
She used some WEIRD SCIFI TASER that disrupts brainwaves and seemed to cause Kurose pain which Shiraishi cheerfully says probably set off brain issues caused by all the brainwashing. He and Mukai start to bicker until Morioka pulls them up, causing Mukai some embarrassment and Shiraishi none at all. He tells Mukai to come visit him for a detailed report despite Morioka saying that is NOT his call.
Shiriashi: I notice you're still calling me Director/chief.
Mukai: ...I can't be bothered coming up with anything else to call you >:/
Aww Mukai offers to pass on any messages from Ichika. She says to just say she's glad he's looking well.
Ichika sees the TERRORIST TRYING TO KILL HER and so CHASES AFTER HIM, UNARMED, and he PUTS A BOMB ON HER. UGH.
The bomb will go off unless...she sees Shiraishi once an hour! SURE.
Kurose is like Evil Short-haired Shiriashi with a dash of Saeki.
Kurose: Number 14 betrayed and killed Him, and is defective. I will deal him no matter what, it was His last wish. But I'm grateful to you. Agents are trained to have no fear, but you changed him. So now Number 14 knows the fear of losing you :)
Kurose laughs that Ichika will obviously tire of Shiraishi: he is defective as a doll, but weird and unlikeable as a human.
Ichika talks about how Shiraishi has become more than what he was, and she likes him for who he is, with all his quirks and kindness, the weird gaps in common sense due to horrific childhood included. Kurose is taken aback long enough for her to zap him lol.
Kurose: It's always this way, why is it always him...
OF COURSE IT'S ANOTHER JEALOUS SECRET EVIL BROTHER
Minegishi: Even a veteran officer would make the same mistake
WOULD THEY THOUGH
Shiraishi quietly broods about Mikuni's last words being to order his death.
Shiraishi feels sad and guilty but Ichika is all I'M GOING TO MAKE HIM REGRET TRYING TO BEND ME TO HIS WILL because she is done with evil death jewelry.
Naturally this plan to torture Shiraishi results in...his girlfriend moving into his prison cell. DIABOLICAL.
I mean they have to pretend to just be friends for the cameras, but they were previously only communicating via SECOND HAND CAT METAPHORS, so it still feels like a step up.
At first Shiraishi is self hating and distant but Ichika makes it clear she is happy to be with him and wants to help.
She says Kurose seemed plenty emotional for a 'doll' and asks about life in the facility.
Shiraishi: It was the same every day, except when Mikuni visited. He let me ask questions.
Ichika: It sounds like he was a sort of childhood friend.
Shiraishi: No, we were boss and underling. I never knew what he thought of me. On the day I killed him he must have understood my intentions yet he sent away his people. Maybe he had a death wish because of his conflict with Zero.
Ichika: I think...he saw you as another human being.
Shiraishi: He did say that once. He said it was a joke but I never forgot it.
Look I'm glad Ichika is sympathetic about his horrific childhood but I feel like she could be a bit more "I'm glad Mikuni made being a slave less awful but also he had some MAJOR COMPLICITY in you REMAINING A SLAVE in his EVIL MURDER CULT".
She insists on drying his hair when he leaves it wet.
Shiraishi: I never knew my parents. But if Yanagi's my dad...then you're like my naggy mom. Do you care like this for everyone.
Ichika: Only you.
Shiraishi: I'm glad. *softly* Spending time with you like this is a dream.
There is a lot of staring into each others eyes and bittersweet pining it's great. The review I saw complained about the lack of sex, but like...while I certainly don't mind sex scenes, for my tastes g-rated pining that's going somewhere >> sexy plotless fluff.
Shiriashi softly says that he's sorry he can't offer her anything like a normal lover, and she talks about all the happiness he's brought her already. He gets a little tsundere-ly bashful and blushy.
Shiraishi quotes Ichika calling him "Shiraishi-san", I can live without a sex scene but hope they get to first names!
CHAPTER 3
Man: No. 14, you pass. No. 13, you have three negative marks. Do you understand why?
No. 13: Yes.
When the man is gone, No. 13 accuses No. 14 of laughing at his failure.
No. 14: We're the same. No doll is better or worse than any other.
No. 13: I am better than you! As an agent of god, failure is not an option.
Mikuni: It will be difficult in the outside world, not knowing if you should act like an agent of Adonis or a normal person. And so to help with that...
Wow. Shoes. Dobby is free.
Shiraishi had thought he was ready for the variety of people and colours in the outside world but it still surprised him.
When the shoes wore out, he knew it was logical to throw away a worn out tool, but he kept them in a box, hidden at the back of his shoe rack.
Ichika POV
She wakes to Shiraishi's smiling face. He didn't sleep, he just watched her sleep and looked at the bracelet once an hour. He says he can do without sleep for a few days and she was very cute.
Ichika thinks it's right for Shiraishi to be in prison, since he did murder someone in cold blood and all that, but doesn't like how Shiraishi thinks being a criminal means he doesn't deserve happiness.
They talk about the cats, and Shiriashi says that number 13 used to be a housecat so he knows how to charm people, but is actually prideful and formidable.
Shiraishi is worried that Kurose will target Yanagi or the others next.
Ichika says he's allowed to have wishes, and so he holds out his hand and asks her to fight alongside him.
Kurose sends a cryptic letter about an amusement park which Shiriashi realises is a reference to a brief conversation Shiriashi and Ichika had during their date about maybe visiting one for Christmas. Kurose was watching, and wants to ruin that dream.
This is all very Nameless: the one thing you must recall.
Shiriashi gets a little blushy talking about having looked into the park after the date, while Minegishi silently stands there all "this is cute but is it relevant to the terrorism".
Shiriashi's plan is to taunt Kurose into showing himself by having AS MUCH FUN AS POSSIBLE. This is...just... a G rated terrorists made them do it story. Sure. Fine.
He looks very pretty with his hair up in a ponytail with a ribbon.
Ichika is a little disappointed he keeps his poker face on the roller coaster and he's all "It was fun watching other people scream but I was crushed by much higher G forces during training :)"
They go on the ferris wheel and it is super cute and romantic.
Kurose puts out a lost child message: "[the french for 14], your older brother is waiting" and there's a map, instructions to come alone, and...A PUZZLE. WITH NUMBERS IN IT :D
AT LAST :D
...I do not know how to solve this... Oh! It's referring to the answers from a bunch of OTHER puzzles. WORD puzzles >:(
They're the kind of thing you couldn't translate from Japanese so they must have been made from scratch. The answer is "Sandbox".
Shiriashi: Not a bad place to sacrifice myself :)
Morioka: I don't recall giving you permission to die >:(
The official name of the 'Sandbox' is the 'Aphrodita Institute'. It was your classic Evil Science Institute but got shut down during the last investigation.
Kurose knows this is a dead end. They were raised to die for Adonis, and now he intends to do that, taking Shiraishi with him.
Morioka is iffy on trusting the plan of a criminal like Shiraishi but he says he'll prove he can be trusted.
Ichika takes out her gun and says "I'll protect you" and he smiles and says "That's my line."
As they walk through the labs, Shiraishi sees how VISIBLY FURIOUS Ichika is on his behalf and says he wishes he could have told his past self that this is just one small part of the world and that one day he'd meet someone he cares about more than Adonis.
I get the impression that Ichika has a lot of angry feelings about his mistreatment she's not expressing because she feels it would be, like...treading on his right to have his own opinions about it, I guess? So she focuses on supporting him rather than putting the people who mistreated him down. And like...I can see the logic. And I think Shiraishi still working through his feelings of guilt and self acceptance too much to be angry makes sense.
I do get how Mikuni is a tragic figure, and I think the narrative is pretty ambivalent about him, which does create an interesting emotional ambiguity. But I want SOMEONE to rant angrily on screen about how Mikuni could have done better by his SLAVES. It would probably be tacky to write a WHY FANTASY SLAVERY IS BAD issuefic but I guess I can just imagine it.
Kurose says Zero was just a figurehead and Mikuni was the true God of Adonis, the one who actually told the agents what to do.
Mikuni ordered Kurose to watch Shiriashi, aware Ichika was influencing him. But Kurose decided Shiraishi had broken a long time ago, and recommended Mikuni kill him. Instead Mikuni told Kurose to keep this a secret. Kurose has never known such despair as the day Mikuni died.
Just before he died Mikuni sent the agents a message: You are free. You can walk the world with your own two feet, and achieve your own dreams, not told to murder or suppress your emotions.
Kurose: He left it to us chess pieces to achieve his ideal of a bloody revolution! Adonis will be reborn from your blood!
Shiriashi: No?
Sounds like the other agents were all "Freedom? Sounds good!", I'm glad. Even if they're all stuck in prison with no therapy they can make friends and not have to murder anyone.
But Kurose is all OUR DREAM IS HIS DREAM.
Shiraishi: Mikuni shouldered the fate of Adonis with determination, which caused him to be a cruel criminal. He sacrificed others, and felt guilt. He was kind yet arrogant. To protect one thing you must lose another. He knew that, and made his choices. And in the end he wished for the chess piece's release. You are doing the opposite of what he wanted.
Kurose shouts that Shiraishi is a traitor with no idea and fills the room with POISON GAS.
Shiraishi: If you kill us you'll just get caught by the police. This isn't rebuilding Adonis. This is getting revenge for Mikuni. A doll prioritises Adonis over all. But you are a human being.
Ahaha Kurose gets pissy and flips the bomb switch...and Shiraishi smugly says he got Sasazuka to disarm it, and they already had the antidote, since Kurose is using the same poison Adonis always does.
Ichika says she insisted on coming despite the danger to stop Shiriashi doing anything rash, but also to prove to Kurose that she really is willing to stay by Shiraishi's side.
Shiriashi points out how shitty Kurose's plan is and says he used to be smarter than this.
Kurose runs and locks himself in the armory.
*squints at word salad notes I made at like 1am*
Okazaki arrives to take care of Ichika and tells Shiraishi not to make Ichika sad by sacrificing himself to save Kurose.
Shiriashi talks about how they were taught that there is no next time or recovery from failure. He wants to convince Kurose that he has a future. Mikuni's final words were cruel for a doll who has no idea how to have his own dream.
Ichika is worried and Shiraishi says part of him wants to just stay here with her. But loves her for her kindness and knows she understands that true happiness cannot come from sacrifice.
Ichika: If you say that I can't help but let you go.
Shiriashi: All part of my calculations. You know how I am :)
CHAPTER FOUR
Shiriashi flashes back to everyone calling him "Shiriashi". Thanks to them, he was able to fully become Kageyuki Shiraishi.
Yanagi uses no honorific, everyone else says "Shiraishi-san". Shiriashi calls him Yanagi-kun, did he used to be Yanagi's sempai at work cos he's older?
Flashback to the day Shiriashi killed Mikuni
He thinks "In order to save Ichika I have decided to sacrifice him, the least I can do is make sure he doesn't suffer."
He remembers Mikuni saying he was gifted as a child and feels a sharp pain in his chest.
Shiraishi: I'm sorry.
Mikuni: Number 14. Please fulfill your dreams.
Maybe it was out of guilt. But Shiriashi is grateful.
Shiraishi confronts Kurose in the armory.
Kurose doesn't believe/care that Shiraishi is here to save him and says "The outside world made you weak! I will defeat you and prove my worth."
Shiriashi easily beats him, holding Kurose's own knife to his throat and saying "I like the way i am now".
*CG pauses for lets player to flash HE'S SO HOT over the top, which...fair*
Shiraishi understand why Kurose wants to kill him, and apologises. Kurose finds him incomprehensible. They use "Mikuni-san" and "Mikuni-sama" respectively.
Kurose: Why didn't He kill you for being defective? Didn't He want a perfect doll?
Shiraishi: I don't know. But I'm sure he was conflicted.
Kurose: God can't be conflicted!
Kurose always wanted to be more like No. 14, to get the same special treatment from Mikuni. Mikuni even tried to get Shiraishi a second pair of shoes just before he died.
Shiraishi thinks that Mikuni wanted happiness for all the dolls he raised, including Kurose and Shiraishi. "That boy isn't here any more. But, thank you."
He brings Kurose in.
Ichika: You're hurt!
Shiraishi: This is nothing, when I was in Adonis...
Ichika: You aren't number 14 any more! I was so worried I felt like I was dead!
Shiraishi: I'm sorry. Do you dislike me now? :(
Okazaki: Definitely not. Every time Kurose hurt you her face twisted with fury.
Shiraishi: Sounds like that time she grabbed me by the chest...
Okazaki: Ooh. Please continue this story :D
Minegishi: We very much appreciate your assistance, but it is still necessary to keep you under tight surveillance.
Shiraishi: I understand.
Ichika: ;_;
Minegishi: Miss Hoshino, can I leave that up to you for the next 24 hours?
Morioka: HEY, I NEVER AUTHORISED-
Minegishi: I'll handle all the paperwork ^_^
Morioka: When you're this nice to someone it usually means you're planning something.
Ok I found this a bit hard to follow but afaict Minegishi thinks this will keep their useful asset more emotionally functional.
Aww and Ichika gets the police to deliver ingredients to his cell so they can make rice balls together. At first Shiraishi is very bad at it but he persists and proudly presents her a huge, perfectly round ball, while she gives him some shaped like cats, and they're both very happy.
He suggests they feed each other, and is baffled when she gets embarrassed...until she tries to feed him and get has to turn away, blushing, which she thinks is adorable.
It turns out Mikuni sent the shoes to Yanagi last December 24th, with the card "When you can see that he can walk on his own two feet with your own eyes, please give him these shoes."
And then that day Shiraishi disappeared with Ichika.
Flashback:
At first Yanagi thinks Shiriashi is running away with her, but he explains he just wants her to recover enough that he can properly say goodbye.
Yanagi: You expect me to believe that? You've already played me for a fool before.
Shiraishi: I'm sorry. I realised I can't do this on my own, and I thought of you. And so-
Yanagi: Enough. I've never seen you be such a helpless idiot.
Shiraishi: It's fine. You can call the police.
Yanagi: I will. Once she can move again.
Now:
Yanagi: So I decided to trust him. And to hide the existence of the shoes until he had atoned for his crimes.
Ichika thinks the shoes are to remind Shiriashi to keep walking forward, even if he feels guilty for killing Mikuni.
Shiraishi: Yanagi, can I ask you to hold onto these for me a little longer? I can trust you not to go easy on me. And you'll judge me with fairness. When I've earned the right to wear them, please give them back to me.
Yanagi: I understand. I'll make sure to take care of them until then.
Ichika feels a little jealous of their bond.
Back at the cell, Shiraishi curls up into a ball and cries, and Ichika holds him. Shiraishi will never know, now, what was in Mikuni's heart. But he has to carry on, with all his sins and memory and pain.
Shiraishi: I never knew 'living' would be so troublesome.
Ichika, thinking of her own feeling about killing her own best friend, says "That's why we get close to each other. To help carry the burden." She promises to always stay by his side, no matter how far apart they may be.
"There are no fairytale endings, but with our scars, we will live on."
Good Ending:
A few years later, Shiriashi has been so helpful to the police that he's been allowed supervised days out and I think will be fully released soon. He has the shoes.
He READS TO CHILDREN AT AN ORPHANAGE. An orphanage for BRAINWASHED ADONIS CHILDREN. He wants to introduce them to the fun and wondrous things in the world.
He helps her with the orphanage laundry (how is she the one...NEVER MIND) and asks if she's happy. When she says yes, he tells her his wish: for them to live together as a family. She says yes, and kisses him, and it's all very cute. He talks a lot about how important it is to him that they are the only ones for each other, the most important people in each other's lives.
THE END
Wait that means Mikuni was brainwashing NEW children, not just using the ones created by the cult when he was a kid?? Wow, fuck you, Mikuni.
Normal Ending:
It's a few years later. Shiraishi ended up in regular prison for a while but is now on parole. He and Ichika meet up and are sweetly happy to see each other.
She seems to still live with Kazuki? Maybe he's just visiting as a break from his world tour. There was very little Kazuki in this but there was a lot of other stuff to cover!
THE END
Short Story (unvoiced text):
Shiraishi and Ichika are alone in his apartment. He asks to kiss her and she gets embarrassed and he wonders if that was inappropriate, since they've only kissed a few times.
But then she says she wants to kiss him too and he gets a strange feeling he analyses and decides is sexual desire.
At first he touches her gently to gauge how she's feeling and what she wants but then he is overcome and kisses her passionately. He goes a bit too hard and hurts her and is very apologetic but she was absolutely into it just embarrassed and surprised.
Awwww she'd assumed he was asexual and was just being nice about it. Like she didn't use the word "asexual" but that is clearly what she meant.
Shiraishi: Wait are you sexually frustrated? I was happy just holding hands but I never asked what you want.
Ichika, a polite yet horny young Japanese woman not wanting to pressure her heavily traumatised boyfriend: UH.
But then she looks him in the eye and says that while she is also happy holding hands she would indeed like more, but slower this time, and it goes much better.
THE END
And then the other Shiraishi extras are plotless sugary shmoop. Them sending each other cat emojis was pretty cute. And she asks to call him by his first name, excellent.
Some of the other Unlimited extras look interesting. There's a Yoshinari route that sounds very cute. But ehhh idk. This is enough for now!
One reason I wanted to fill in all those gaps is I kept vaguely pondering Shiraishi/Yanagi/Ichika, but got snagged on Shiraishi's backstory and post-canon situation. I was intimidated at the thought of looking up the realities of Japanese prisons but that turns out to NOT BE RELEVANT lol. But yeah this definitely offers plot hooks etc but Shiraishi being SO focussed on being The Only One would require careful navigation.
Definitely want Sakuragawa and Mukai to get married even more than I did before. OPEN YOUR EYES LADIES, LOVE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
So I originally had little interest in the CollarxMalice sequel game, CollarxMalice: Unlimited, since I assumed it would be $75 worth of post-canon fluff which I wouldn't enjoy enough for the price and length. I'm all about the emotional arcs and drama!
But I was left slightly wanting by the base CollarxMalice Shiraishi ending, both in terms of gaps in his backstory and being curious about what happened next. I looked up a review of his CollarxMalice: Unlimited route and it was like "I wanted sexy post-canon fluff like all the other routes, but instead got G-rated flashbacks, character exploration, and plot".
Which made me think I might enjoy his route, and his route only, so I watched it on youtube.
And I did enjoy it, and that sense of niggling dissatisfaction is gone. I didn't LIKE all the answers it gave me but at least I got them. It's fairly romantic, in a bittersweet-angst-followed-by-hugs kinda way, but not at all sexy, the main character herself assumes he's asexual until one of the extras (when it turns out he isn't, but you could definitely read him as demisexual with a very slow fuse)
It's also, just...the kind of mix of angst, drama, and fluff where at one point a terrorist threatens to kill civilians unless the couple goes on a date at an amusement park. It digs a LOT into Shiraishi's trauma, but...I can see why the most popular fic on the AO3 for this canon has the premise "Shiraishi gets some actual therapy".
But I liked the overall theme of recovering from trauma and guilt, and carving out a happy life under difficult circumstances.
Not sure if I'll watch any other routes, or just put the game on my wishlist and buy it if it's ever significantly on sale.
Content note: Violence, death, suicide, child harm, fantasy slavery
It's a year and a bit after X-Day, a few months after Ichika regained her memory and returned to her usual life.
Oh no, of course, Ichika only found out Zero was Saeki after she killed him. So she is understandably still haunted by it and his memory.
After he turned himself in Shiraishi insisted they were just friends during his interrogations to protect her. His faith in her is what inspired her to return to work.
She only remembers their year underground vaguely, but remembers that he always looked sad.
Shiriashi sent Yanagi letters: How is the black cat I asked you to to look after? I hope to play with her again soon. She gets dejected even at the best of times. If she's down tell her some kind words. Cook her something tasty. I somewhat regret not taking the time to observe your culinary skills while I had the chance. If anything happens to her I'd have to break off our friendship.
Yanagi: You wouldn't be writing him back directly, but I think we can tell him how the black cat is doing.
...so Ichika helps Yanagi and Shiraishi and Yanagi connect on Yanagi's path, and Yanagi helps Shiriashi and Ichika on Shiriashi's. Ok :D
Yanagi: He'll probably keep sending long letters out of spite until we reply. And I wouldn't want anything to happen to our friendship.
"We put our heads together to write things Shiriashi would want to hear"
FLASHBACK TO SHIRAISHI AND MIKUNI AS KIDS IN THE CULT
Jesus.
So. Tiny sailor suited Mikuni asked to speak to the most talented in the training facility. He encouraged Shiriashi's questions about the outside world, something noone had ever done before. Normally Shiraishi wouldn't even be allowed to speak to someone of Mikuni's stature. At this point I think Mikuni is maybe 13 to Shiraishi's 16?
Mikuni: That is correct. You are the gold standard among our organisation's puppets.
No. 14: Thank you, sir. I am honoured.
Mikuni: Is there anything you wish for?
No. 14: I have no need for such emotions.
Mikuni: Indeed. However, once this country is reborn, we will know peace. I'd like even dolls such as yourselves to have a wish fulfilled at that time.
No. 14: Why?
Mikuni: Call it my own ego. In the future I believe in, you will be allowed to have such desires.
No. 14: We are tools to carry out your wishes. I could not ask for anything more.
Mikuni: That's not...never mind. How foolish of me to assume you are a human like me. Such petty delusions are unbefitting of a leader of apostles.
No. 14: ....I would like to become someone irreplaceable...I'm terribly sorry sir. I will accept any punishment.
Mikuni: I didn't hear anything.
(you can see a watermark there for Nekochang, whose let's play I watched)
Shiriashi wakes from the dream and wonders if it was because his prison cell reminds him of the facility. He wasn't ever officially indicted, because he's too useful, and instead is staying in... Special Protections?
He thinks back over everyone he met after leaving the facility, which was known as "The sandbox".
When Shiraishi met Yanagi he thought he was just unusually tolerant, and teased him to see how far he could take it. But Yanagi just lectured him and put up with it and then cooked him delicious meals.
"While Okazaki's gentle demeaor was alluring, I always had to be on my guard around him"
Is 'alluring' really the right word there, translator?
Of Mukai: "It was rather refreshing to have an acquaintance who despise me so thoroughly"
Flashback to when Ichika had amnesia:
She reminded him of his younger self. "My emotions had been faint, in a way it had been the happiest time of my life." Part of him wanted to keep her this way and he despised himself as a selfish coward. But Ichika was always moving forward.
Aww even as an amnesiac she 'knitted' him a little cat doll because she knew he liked cats. (It is very clearly crochet, translator) His voice with her is higher and more earnest.
Shiraishi thinks "I wanted to return the kindness you gave to me...no, more than that, I wanted to serve you"
He reminisces about failing to cook for her, then trails off berating himself for telling such a not-her-doctor memory, but she just grabs his hands and shows him how to crochet which he is super into. He quietly thinks that this uses the skills he learned CREATING AMMUNITION AND MIXING POISONS lol
Present time:
Back in his cell, Shiriashi wonders if he is someone irreplaceable now, and how Mikuni would feel about that...if Shiriashi hadn't murdered him in cold blood. Shiriashi feels it his obligation to understand Mikuni, as his friend, his subordinate, the man who killed him, and as a human being.
Guard 1: One of the Adonis prisoners has escaped so I'm checking down here.
Guard 2: He's been well behaved so far.
Guard 1: That kind of complacency will get you killed!
At work, Ichika hears other officers muttering that she has a lot of nerve coming back as a known associate of a terrorist. And then Sakuragawa gives them a piece of her mind before inviting Ichika to come drinking.
Sakuragawa and Mukai have both decided it's time to find husbands because they're approaching 30 and sick of being alone, and approach the problem with all the romance and joy of a doomed military campaign. Sakuragawa says she's been too busy working to maintain any of her relationships and sounds more irritated than heartbroken about it.
Ichika suggests a cute feminine dress for Mukai and a miniskirt for Sakuragawa, who's dubious about wearing a skirt at all.
Mukai: Ahh to show off her long beautiful legs!
Ichika: ...I guess? Also the embroidery is really cute.
Sakuragawa: That's not really my style.
Mukai: We'll have to try some on to be sure. You can't go hunting without a weapon. We can get matching accessories!
Sakuragawa: Mukai would be pretty attractive, if she kept her mouth shut.
...ok I still think Sakuragawa is a butch lesbian, but I'm not sure she knows.
Ichika is checking on all the stray cats for him ;_;
Ichika reminisces about her date with Shiraishi. Curious how she'd react, he'd kissed her on the cheek, and would absolutely have experimented with kissing her further if she hadn't objected that they didn't have that kind of relationship.
Ichika realises she's being followed. She bumps into Enomoto who is looking for a lost dog on behalf of a client of his and Yanagi's detective agency.
An Adonis letter demands Shiraishi be released to stop another X-Day countdown. The letter from Shiriashi was in Japanese in the CG, but this one is in English, so maybe it's actually in English? Adonis seems to use English a lot and I have NO IDEA what this signifies.
CHAPTER TWO
A politician called has been killed with an Adonis countdown number of IX. But he has no known criminal history, and there's no video.
The police know everything this time and Okazaki is assigned to protect her. He's pulled his hair back and is wearing his suit a little more properly, it's a cute look.
Minegishi comes to ask Shiriashi's advice, and is fairly nice about it.
Shiriashi is naturally not happy about Ichika being targeted. He knew the politician from an old case. He doesn't recognise the escaped Adonis agent, Kurose, or know why he'd care about a defected pawn like Shiraishi.
Minegishi gives Shiraishi a phone, saying it's bugged and not to do anything stupid.
Shiraishi: Hi Yanagi. I'm helping with the investigation. So...how's the black cat...I know you're looking after her but I worry when I can't see her face...
Yanagi: I know how you feel. She's fine. Enomoto just gave her some donuts.
Shiraishi: I'm glad he's still an airhead.
Yanagi: Don't say that, he's worried about you.
Shiraishi: I know. He sent me a pile of books about history and romance.
Yanagi and Ichika are glad Shiriashi hasn't changed.
Ichika attends a conference in Investigations where Shiraishi assists via video. There are mistrustful mutterings from the other officers.
Shiraishi doesn't recognise the escapee, Kurose, but says Adonis operatives didn't meet much. He says dispassionately "Feelings of camaraderie could lead to emotions that might cause us to question orders. The only emotions we were allowed to feel were respect and obedience to our superiors. We don't act without orders from above."
But the Adonis leaders are dead. Are they old orders? What is Kurose's actual goal? Just revenge against Shiraishi?
Shiraishi says letting Kurose kill him wouldn't fix things, like he thought about it. But he's willing to make a useful sacrifice. He looks out at Ichika before saying he won't throuw himself away because he has something to live for.
Ichika is VERY UPSET by this but Sasazuka gives her a quelling look before she makes a scene and gets kicked out of the room.
MUKAI GOT ATTACKED D: Shiriashi's calm expression breaks and he makes sure she's ok. Luckily she fought off her attacker, who shouted "Death to the traitor".
Even though she JUST escaped a murder attempt she comes to the meeting to calmly make her report.
She used some WEIRD SCIFI TASER that disrupts brainwaves and seemed to cause Kurose pain which Shiraishi cheerfully says probably set off brain issues caused by all the brainwashing. He and Mukai start to bicker until Morioka pulls them up, causing Mukai some embarrassment and Shiraishi none at all. He tells Mukai to come visit him for a detailed report despite Morioka saying that is NOT his call.
Shiriashi: I notice you're still calling me Director/chief.
Mukai: ...I can't be bothered coming up with anything else to call you >:/
Aww Mukai offers to pass on any messages from Ichika. She says to just say she's glad he's looking well.
Ichika sees the TERRORIST TRYING TO KILL HER and so CHASES AFTER HIM, UNARMED, and he PUTS A BOMB ON HER. UGH.
The bomb will go off unless...she sees Shiraishi once an hour! SURE.
Kurose is like Evil Short-haired Shiriashi with a dash of Saeki.
Kurose: Number 14 betrayed and killed Him, and is defective. I will deal him no matter what, it was His last wish. But I'm grateful to you. Agents are trained to have no fear, but you changed him. So now Number 14 knows the fear of losing you :)
Kurose laughs that Ichika will obviously tire of Shiraishi: he is defective as a doll, but weird and unlikeable as a human.
Ichika talks about how Shiraishi has become more than what he was, and she likes him for who he is, with all his quirks and kindness, the weird gaps in common sense due to horrific childhood included. Kurose is taken aback long enough for her to zap him lol.
Kurose: It's always this way, why is it always him...
OF COURSE IT'S ANOTHER JEALOUS SECRET EVIL BROTHER
Minegishi: Even a veteran officer would make the same mistake
WOULD THEY THOUGH
Shiraishi quietly broods about Mikuni's last words being to order his death.
Shiraishi feels sad and guilty but Ichika is all I'M GOING TO MAKE HIM REGRET TRYING TO BEND ME TO HIS WILL because she is done with evil death jewelry.
Naturally this plan to torture Shiraishi results in...his girlfriend moving into his prison cell. DIABOLICAL.
I mean they have to pretend to just be friends for the cameras, but they were previously only communicating via SECOND HAND CAT METAPHORS, so it still feels like a step up.
At first Shiraishi is self hating and distant but Ichika makes it clear she is happy to be with him and wants to help.
She says Kurose seemed plenty emotional for a 'doll' and asks about life in the facility.
Shiraishi: It was the same every day, except when Mikuni visited. He let me ask questions.
Ichika: It sounds like he was a sort of childhood friend.
Shiraishi: No, we were boss and underling. I never knew what he thought of me. On the day I killed him he must have understood my intentions yet he sent away his people. Maybe he had a death wish because of his conflict with Zero.
Ichika: I think...he saw you as another human being.
Shiraishi: He did say that once. He said it was a joke but I never forgot it.
Look I'm glad Ichika is sympathetic about his horrific childhood but I feel like she could be a bit more "I'm glad Mikuni made being a slave less awful but also he had some MAJOR COMPLICITY in you REMAINING A SLAVE in his EVIL MURDER CULT".
She insists on drying his hair when he leaves it wet.
Shiraishi: I never knew my parents. But if Yanagi's my dad...then you're like my naggy mom. Do you care like this for everyone.
Ichika: Only you.
Shiraishi: I'm glad. *softly* Spending time with you like this is a dream.
There is a lot of staring into each others eyes and bittersweet pining it's great. The review I saw complained about the lack of sex, but like...while I certainly don't mind sex scenes, for my tastes g-rated pining that's going somewhere >> sexy plotless fluff.
Shiriashi softly says that he's sorry he can't offer her anything like a normal lover, and she talks about all the happiness he's brought her already. He gets a little tsundere-ly bashful and blushy.
Shiraishi quotes Ichika calling him "Shiraishi-san", I can live without a sex scene but hope they get to first names!
CHAPTER 3
Man: No. 14, you pass. No. 13, you have three negative marks. Do you understand why?
No. 13: Yes.
When the man is gone, No. 13 accuses No. 14 of laughing at his failure.
No. 14: We're the same. No doll is better or worse than any other.
No. 13: I am better than you! As an agent of god, failure is not an option.
Mikuni: It will be difficult in the outside world, not knowing if you should act like an agent of Adonis or a normal person. And so to help with that...
Wow. Shoes. Dobby is free.
Shiraishi had thought he was ready for the variety of people and colours in the outside world but it still surprised him.
When the shoes wore out, he knew it was logical to throw away a worn out tool, but he kept them in a box, hidden at the back of his shoe rack.
Ichika POV
She wakes to Shiraishi's smiling face. He didn't sleep, he just watched her sleep and looked at the bracelet once an hour. He says he can do without sleep for a few days and she was very cute.
Ichika thinks it's right for Shiraishi to be in prison, since he did murder someone in cold blood and all that, but doesn't like how Shiraishi thinks being a criminal means he doesn't deserve happiness.
They talk about the cats, and Shiriashi says that number 13 used to be a housecat so he knows how to charm people, but is actually prideful and formidable.
Shiraishi is worried that Kurose will target Yanagi or the others next.
Ichika says he's allowed to have wishes, and so he holds out his hand and asks her to fight alongside him.
Kurose sends a cryptic letter about an amusement park which Shiriashi realises is a reference to a brief conversation Shiriashi and Ichika had during their date about maybe visiting one for Christmas. Kurose was watching, and wants to ruin that dream.
This is all very Nameless: the one thing you must recall.
Shiriashi gets a little blushy talking about having looked into the park after the date, while Minegishi silently stands there all "this is cute but is it relevant to the terrorism".
Shiriashi's plan is to taunt Kurose into showing himself by having AS MUCH FUN AS POSSIBLE. This is...just... a G rated terrorists made them do it story. Sure. Fine.
He looks very pretty with his hair up in a ponytail with a ribbon.
Ichika is a little disappointed he keeps his poker face on the roller coaster and he's all "It was fun watching other people scream but I was crushed by much higher G forces during training :)"
They go on the ferris wheel and it is super cute and romantic.
Kurose puts out a lost child message: "[the french for 14], your older brother is waiting" and there's a map, instructions to come alone, and...A PUZZLE. WITH NUMBERS IN IT :D
AT LAST :D
...I do not know how to solve this... Oh! It's referring to the answers from a bunch of OTHER puzzles. WORD puzzles >:(
They're the kind of thing you couldn't translate from Japanese so they must have been made from scratch. The answer is "Sandbox".
Shiriashi: Not a bad place to sacrifice myself :)
Morioka: I don't recall giving you permission to die >:(
The official name of the 'Sandbox' is the 'Aphrodita Institute'. It was your classic Evil Science Institute but got shut down during the last investigation.
Kurose knows this is a dead end. They were raised to die for Adonis, and now he intends to do that, taking Shiraishi with him.
Morioka is iffy on trusting the plan of a criminal like Shiraishi but he says he'll prove he can be trusted.
Ichika takes out her gun and says "I'll protect you" and he smiles and says "That's my line."
As they walk through the labs, Shiraishi sees how VISIBLY FURIOUS Ichika is on his behalf and says he wishes he could have told his past self that this is just one small part of the world and that one day he'd meet someone he cares about more than Adonis.
I get the impression that Ichika has a lot of angry feelings about his mistreatment she's not expressing because she feels it would be, like...treading on his right to have his own opinions about it, I guess? So she focuses on supporting him rather than putting the people who mistreated him down. And like...I can see the logic. And I think Shiraishi still working through his feelings of guilt and self acceptance too much to be angry makes sense.
I do get how Mikuni is a tragic figure, and I think the narrative is pretty ambivalent about him, which does create an interesting emotional ambiguity. But I want SOMEONE to rant angrily on screen about how Mikuni could have done better by his SLAVES. It would probably be tacky to write a WHY FANTASY SLAVERY IS BAD issuefic but I guess I can just imagine it.
Kurose says Zero was just a figurehead and Mikuni was the true God of Adonis, the one who actually told the agents what to do.
Mikuni ordered Kurose to watch Shiriashi, aware Ichika was influencing him. But Kurose decided Shiraishi had broken a long time ago, and recommended Mikuni kill him. Instead Mikuni told Kurose to keep this a secret. Kurose has never known such despair as the day Mikuni died.
Just before he died Mikuni sent the agents a message: You are free. You can walk the world with your own two feet, and achieve your own dreams, not told to murder or suppress your emotions.
Kurose: He left it to us chess pieces to achieve his ideal of a bloody revolution! Adonis will be reborn from your blood!
Shiriashi: No?
Sounds like the other agents were all "Freedom? Sounds good!", I'm glad. Even if they're all stuck in prison with no therapy they can make friends and not have to murder anyone.
But Kurose is all OUR DREAM IS HIS DREAM.
Shiraishi: Mikuni shouldered the fate of Adonis with determination, which caused him to be a cruel criminal. He sacrificed others, and felt guilt. He was kind yet arrogant. To protect one thing you must lose another. He knew that, and made his choices. And in the end he wished for the chess piece's release. You are doing the opposite of what he wanted.
Kurose shouts that Shiraishi is a traitor with no idea and fills the room with POISON GAS.
Shiraishi: If you kill us you'll just get caught by the police. This isn't rebuilding Adonis. This is getting revenge for Mikuni. A doll prioritises Adonis over all. But you are a human being.
Ahaha Kurose gets pissy and flips the bomb switch...and Shiraishi smugly says he got Sasazuka to disarm it, and they already had the antidote, since Kurose is using the same poison Adonis always does.
Ichika says she insisted on coming despite the danger to stop Shiriashi doing anything rash, but also to prove to Kurose that she really is willing to stay by Shiraishi's side.
Shiriashi points out how shitty Kurose's plan is and says he used to be smarter than this.
Kurose runs and locks himself in the armory.
*squints at word salad notes I made at like 1am*
Okazaki arrives to take care of Ichika and tells Shiraishi not to make Ichika sad by sacrificing himself to save Kurose.
Shiriashi talks about how they were taught that there is no next time or recovery from failure. He wants to convince Kurose that he has a future. Mikuni's final words were cruel for a doll who has no idea how to have his own dream.
Ichika is worried and Shiraishi says part of him wants to just stay here with her. But loves her for her kindness and knows she understands that true happiness cannot come from sacrifice.
Ichika: If you say that I can't help but let you go.
Shiriashi: All part of my calculations. You know how I am :)
CHAPTER FOUR
Shiriashi flashes back to everyone calling him "Shiriashi". Thanks to them, he was able to fully become Kageyuki Shiraishi.
Yanagi uses no honorific, everyone else says "Shiraishi-san". Shiriashi calls him Yanagi-kun, did he used to be Yanagi's sempai at work cos he's older?
Flashback to the day Shiriashi killed Mikuni
He thinks "In order to save Ichika I have decided to sacrifice him, the least I can do is make sure he doesn't suffer."
He remembers Mikuni saying he was gifted as a child and feels a sharp pain in his chest.
Shiraishi: I'm sorry.
Mikuni: Number 14. Please fulfill your dreams.
Maybe it was out of guilt. But Shiriashi is grateful.
Shiraishi confronts Kurose in the armory.
Kurose doesn't believe/care that Shiraishi is here to save him and says "The outside world made you weak! I will defeat you and prove my worth."
Shiriashi easily beats him, holding Kurose's own knife to his throat and saying "I like the way i am now".
*CG pauses for lets player to flash HE'S SO HOT over the top, which...fair*
Shiraishi understand why Kurose wants to kill him, and apologises. Kurose finds him incomprehensible. They use "Mikuni-san" and "Mikuni-sama" respectively.
Kurose: Why didn't He kill you for being defective? Didn't He want a perfect doll?
Shiraishi: I don't know. But I'm sure he was conflicted.
Kurose: God can't be conflicted!
Kurose always wanted to be more like No. 14, to get the same special treatment from Mikuni. Mikuni even tried to get Shiraishi a second pair of shoes just before he died.
Shiraishi thinks that Mikuni wanted happiness for all the dolls he raised, including Kurose and Shiraishi. "That boy isn't here any more. But, thank you."
He brings Kurose in.
Ichika: You're hurt!
Shiraishi: This is nothing, when I was in Adonis...
Ichika: You aren't number 14 any more! I was so worried I felt like I was dead!
Shiraishi: I'm sorry. Do you dislike me now? :(
Okazaki: Definitely not. Every time Kurose hurt you her face twisted with fury.
Shiraishi: Sounds like that time she grabbed me by the chest...
Okazaki: Ooh. Please continue this story :D
Minegishi: We very much appreciate your assistance, but it is still necessary to keep you under tight surveillance.
Shiraishi: I understand.
Ichika: ;_;
Minegishi: Miss Hoshino, can I leave that up to you for the next 24 hours?
Morioka: HEY, I NEVER AUTHORISED-
Minegishi: I'll handle all the paperwork ^_^
Morioka: When you're this nice to someone it usually means you're planning something.
Ok I found this a bit hard to follow but afaict Minegishi thinks this will keep their useful asset more emotionally functional.
Aww and Ichika gets the police to deliver ingredients to his cell so they can make rice balls together. At first Shiraishi is very bad at it but he persists and proudly presents her a huge, perfectly round ball, while she gives him some shaped like cats, and they're both very happy.
He suggests they feed each other, and is baffled when she gets embarrassed...until she tries to feed him and get has to turn away, blushing, which she thinks is adorable.
It turns out Mikuni sent the shoes to Yanagi last December 24th, with the card "When you can see that he can walk on his own two feet with your own eyes, please give him these shoes."
And then that day Shiraishi disappeared with Ichika.
Flashback:
At first Yanagi thinks Shiriashi is running away with her, but he explains he just wants her to recover enough that he can properly say goodbye.
Yanagi: You expect me to believe that? You've already played me for a fool before.
Shiraishi: I'm sorry. I realised I can't do this on my own, and I thought of you. And so-
Yanagi: Enough. I've never seen you be such a helpless idiot.
Shiraishi: It's fine. You can call the police.
Yanagi: I will. Once she can move again.
Now:
Yanagi: So I decided to trust him. And to hide the existence of the shoes until he had atoned for his crimes.
Ichika thinks the shoes are to remind Shiriashi to keep walking forward, even if he feels guilty for killing Mikuni.
Shiraishi: Yanagi, can I ask you to hold onto these for me a little longer? I can trust you not to go easy on me. And you'll judge me with fairness. When I've earned the right to wear them, please give them back to me.
Yanagi: I understand. I'll make sure to take care of them until then.
Ichika feels a little jealous of their bond.
Back at the cell, Shiraishi curls up into a ball and cries, and Ichika holds him. Shiraishi will never know, now, what was in Mikuni's heart. But he has to carry on, with all his sins and memory and pain.
Shiraishi: I never knew 'living' would be so troublesome.
Ichika, thinking of her own feeling about killing her own best friend, says "That's why we get close to each other. To help carry the burden." She promises to always stay by his side, no matter how far apart they may be.
"There are no fairytale endings, but with our scars, we will live on."
Good Ending:
A few years later, Shiriashi has been so helpful to the police that he's been allowed supervised days out and I think will be fully released soon. He has the shoes.
He READS TO CHILDREN AT AN ORPHANAGE. An orphanage for BRAINWASHED ADONIS CHILDREN. He wants to introduce them to the fun and wondrous things in the world.
He helps her with the orphanage laundry (how is she the one...NEVER MIND) and asks if she's happy. When she says yes, he tells her his wish: for them to live together as a family. She says yes, and kisses him, and it's all very cute. He talks a lot about how important it is to him that they are the only ones for each other, the most important people in each other's lives.
THE END
Wait that means Mikuni was brainwashing NEW children, not just using the ones created by the cult when he was a kid?? Wow, fuck you, Mikuni.
Normal Ending:
It's a few years later. Shiraishi ended up in regular prison for a while but is now on parole. He and Ichika meet up and are sweetly happy to see each other.
She seems to still live with Kazuki? Maybe he's just visiting as a break from his world tour. There was very little Kazuki in this but there was a lot of other stuff to cover!
THE END
Short Story (unvoiced text):
Shiraishi and Ichika are alone in his apartment. He asks to kiss her and she gets embarrassed and he wonders if that was inappropriate, since they've only kissed a few times.
But then she says she wants to kiss him too and he gets a strange feeling he analyses and decides is sexual desire.
At first he touches her gently to gauge how she's feeling and what she wants but then he is overcome and kisses her passionately. He goes a bit too hard and hurts her and is very apologetic but she was absolutely into it just embarrassed and surprised.
Awwww she'd assumed he was asexual and was just being nice about it. Like she didn't use the word "asexual" but that is clearly what she meant.
Shiraishi: Wait are you sexually frustrated? I was happy just holding hands but I never asked what you want.
Ichika, a polite yet horny young Japanese woman not wanting to pressure her heavily traumatised boyfriend: UH.
But then she looks him in the eye and says that while she is also happy holding hands she would indeed like more, but slower this time, and it goes much better.
THE END
And then the other Shiraishi extras are plotless sugary shmoop. Them sending each other cat emojis was pretty cute. And she asks to call him by his first name, excellent.
Some of the other Unlimited extras look interesting. There's a Yoshinari route that sounds very cute. But ehhh idk. This is enough for now!
One reason I wanted to fill in all those gaps is I kept vaguely pondering Shiraishi/Yanagi/Ichika, but got snagged on Shiraishi's backstory and post-canon situation. I was intimidated at the thought of looking up the realities of Japanese prisons but that turns out to NOT BE RELEVANT lol. But yeah this definitely offers plot hooks etc but Shiraishi being SO focussed on being The Only One would require careful navigation.
Definitely want Sakuragawa and Mukai to get married even more than I did before. OPEN YOUR EYES LADIES, LOVE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
