alias_sqbr

There are certainly several people of my aquaintanceship who I've decided to never bother trying to have a serious discussion with unless I'm in a mood to be very non-confrontational and polite after seeing their reaction to other people's contrary opinions. Then again, once more context is important: if they know and like you then they're probably more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt compared to some stranger (conversely, one should expect less lee-way from strangers, even nice ones)

I think it's ok to have public debate which is limited to people within a particular band of opinions if you're up front about it. See, for example, the userinfo of any lj community on controversial topics like feminism etc. In such cases anyone who falls outside the band of opinions has doubly damned themselves by being unwilling to follow the rules. But I do have a problem with people who just assume that everyone (on their friendslist, say) will agree with them and then get agreived if anyone doesn't.

Yes, there is a negative spiral with these things, I've seen it a lot on polarised discussions about politics or religion. If you start by saying "All -blah- are rude and stupid" you're unlikely to get a whole lot of polite reasoned replies...

It is, unfortunately, possible to play quite subtle games with relevance, unilaterally trying to frame the terms of debate to exclude anything that could be said against your position

Hmm, that's not something I've noticed but I shall keep an eye out for it. There are so many different varieties of dodgy argument it's easy to miss some :/

Incidentally, on the subject of tone and understanding where other people are coming from and so on, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you (particularly given that your views and your behaviour, so far as I've seen them, seem models of fairness and balance). I'm just … thinking it through in your direction, so as to speak.

Heh, yeah I realised that. And given that we agree that people should be more open to honest disagreement, it would be hypocritical of me to complain even if you were :)