The Power Of The Bad Word Day

Sat, 11 Mar 2023 04:02:06 GMT

I've started being able to (a) figure out and (b) tell people when I am having a Bad Words moment that makes it hard to express myself. It's really great! My natural tendency is to just sit there feeling paralysed and guilty and self conscious, having a simple script/phrase I can say without having to come up with something original really helps and half the time helps unblock me enough to think of words to express what I wanted to say in the first place, or at least a gesture towards it, with less worry that the other person will take any simpleness/curtness as rudeness or indifference etc.

I am having a moderately bad word day today, but not to the extent of being totally inarticulate, I just have to express myself more simply (at least it feels simpler in my head, I'm not sure how it comes across from the outside). It's very weird to know I don't always feel this way but still be unable to access the parts of my brain which add humourous/articulate flourishes etc. But I don't need those for this post.

I'm not even that fatigued today, just overwhelmed by a bunch of stressful things I have made the considered decision to avoid thinking about until I have had a few days without new stressful things.

Anyway. Hooray for self knowledge and expression, including expressing my inability to express myself.

(haa...ok, I was able to write this post without too much trouble, but thinking about tags is hurting my brain. This'll do)

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Not hearing music while half asleep?

Sun, 17 Jul 2022 22:29:49 GMT

This is a presumably totally benign brain thing, but I'm curious if it's a known phenomenon, and googling just got me stuff about half-awake people hallucinating music, which is the opposite thing.

So. The other day I had a nap while the computer beside me was playing music fairly loudly. The cycle was I would sleep for a bit, lay half asleep vaguely pondering things, lay awake with my eyes closed vaguely pondering things, and then fall back asleep.

The half-asleep and awake parts were mostly pretty similar except for how repeatedly, as I 'woke up', I would suddenly go from not hearing any music and having forgotten the music playing was even a thing, to a sudden jarring awareness of the loud music beside me, as if it had just been turned on. And then I would go "oh wait that was always on, that's so weird I couldn't hear it and forgot it was even there" and then I would fall back asleep and the cycle would happen again. I may have had a "half asleep and not hearing music" phase as I fell back asleep, too, but have no way to know.

I have had a great many intermittent naps while music was playing in my life and can't remember ever having experienced this before, it was very odd. It wasn't the music itself changing or waking me since the awareness would kick in mid-song. And it was otherwise a totally unremarkable nap.

I'm guessing it's the audial equivalent of sleep paralysis, where the part of my brain responsible for making sure I don't respond to sound while asleep hadn't quite turned off yet. I've never actually experienced sleep paralysis but have experienced other odd half-asleep phenomena.

Anyway! That was my odd brain experience. I will probably be appalling at replying to comments but at least I have documented it now!

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The Power Of The Bad Word Day

Not hearing music while half asleep?