alias_sqbr (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
alias_sqbr) wrote2020-06-10 03:09 pm
alias_sqbr) wrote2020-06-10 03:09 pm
Why is triad romance fic written so differently to couple romance fic?
It seems to me that the trends for romance arcs in fanfic are different in romances about two people, and those about three or more.
Specifically, while counterexamples exist, the kind of "everyone pines and doubts themselves" romance that is ubiquitous in romances about two people is almost entirely absent in romances about three people.
And I'm curious to know if other people (a) agree that this difference is real and if so (b) have any idea why it exists.
First: I'm talking about stories which focus on the formation of a new, happy romantic relationships between two or three people. In what I'm calling "couple romance", it's about two people. In what I'm calling "triad romance", three people form a relationship with each other and noone else. There's lots of other kinds of polyamourous romance, but this is the sort I read the most of, and while I think these trends apply more broadly it's simpler to keep the question narrow.
I'm not talking about established relationship stories, porn/erotica which focusses on sex/sexiness, or dramatic stories which involve romantic relationships but don't really fit the romance genre. I think the relative prevalence of these is also an interesting question, though.
Second: the kind of romantic story I am looking at the prevalences of involves characters who have certain kinds of tropey emotional issues interfering with their ability to form the romantic relationship the story is about: they doubt that anyone could love them, they are oblivious to the other character's interest etc, and generally end up pining for most of the story. And then in the happy ending they find out they were wrong and that they are loved. The kind of thing that drives the conflict in a lot of conventional couple romance, especially the mutual pining type. I know this is an ambiguous description, and that pining, being self doubting, being oblivious etc are all different things which may show up separately. But I am having articulating exactly what I mean, so hopefully you get the general idea.
My observation is that couple romances very frequently have everyone in the couple be this kind of character/have this kind of arc, but triad romances almost never do.
I've seen a moderate amount of triad stories which kinda mimic couple romances: A/B pine for each other while C is a happy well-adjusted matchmaker with no self doubt, or A pines for the couple B/C and they pine for A as a couple but have no conflict or doubt between themselves within the A/B couple.
But the most common situation I've seen is that everyone is well adjusted and self confident about the relationship, or the protagonist self-doubtingly pines for two well-adjusted, happy people.
And what I almost never see is A, B, and C all having feelings for each other and ALL feeling self doubt about how to act on it, whether the others are interested, etc only to have everyone realise they're loved in the end.
And I don't know why!
The reason I care about this is that I love stories about pining dumbasses of the sort I've described, and I also love polyfic, and I find it surprising and frustrating that there's lots of both of these things but almost nothing in the intersection. BUT I am not saying this is an objectively bad situation, or something that can be "fixed". Obviously people have different tastes to me, and that's ok. But having noticed the difference, I got curious as to why things are this way!
Now, here's the possible explanations I can think of, some or all of which may apply simultaneously:
1) The people who like couple romance are generally not the same as the ones who like triad romance, and have different tastes.
2) Even people who like both are looking for different things from each type.
3) The two genres have very different histories, which has led to different genre expectations.
4) These tropes are easier to fit into a couple romance, and difficult to write for a triad.
Now (1) and (2) definitely don't apply to me, as someone who likes both couple and triad fic and likes the same kinda of story either way. But we're talking about broad trends not any one individual's preference. And I can imagine that for a lot of people, if they're seeking out conventional romantic tropes such as mutual pining, they'll look in couple fic, even if they seek out triad fic for other kinds of stories. Triad fic is somewhat unconventional by it's nature, and so, relatively speaking, invites more unconventional plots and more readers with unconventional tastes.
Also, polyfic tends to be more popular with polyamorous people. Are we, as a group, inclined towards different tropes due to our different preferences and experiences with romance? I haven't noticed any trend amongst the people I know into romance beyond polyamorous people being more often into polyamnourous romance and also maybe more into kinky erotica?
Or are polyfic trends driven more by monogamous people? They might still be the majority. Like, making something up of the top of my head...maybe fans of triad romance enjoy it as a sort of romantic fantasy of Being Loved By More People, disconnected from their actual romantic preferences and experiences. All kinds of stuff could be going on.
As for 3, I'm a bit fuzzy on the specific history of polyamorous romance in fic and in general, but obviously couple romance is the more established and conventional genre. Here's some unsupported theorising: From what I can see, published polyamourous romance is mostly erotica, which tends to gloss over the messy parts of romance to get to the sex. Polyfic is more varied, but looking up the fanlore page the earliest examples only go back to 1980 and were, again, mostly porn for a long time. I guess growing out of porn might make the genre lean towards everyone working through their issues quickly, even when people are writing G rated stuff? There's also the strand of polyfic which is written by polyamorous people wanting Positive Representation, which afaict leans towards everyone being well adjusted and happy.
In the other direction of course is the question: why do writers of couple fic write so many pining self hating dumbasses? Is it less that the nature of triad romance discourages that kind of fic, and more that couple fic encourages it? Is it the simplicity of two people finding acceptance and love in each other? It because Mutual Pining Couple is such an established trope?
From me, at least, 4 is absolutely true. It's way more complex wrangling the messy feelings of A/B, A/C, B/C and A/B/C and having them all come together in a satisfying way than it is to just have to worry about A/B. I mean personally I also enjoy how much more scope for romantic angst there is when, like, A and B realise they're in love but then worry they'll hurt C's feelings so say nothing, meanwhile C is pining over them both and thinks A/B is already established so they've lost their chance, etc. But I totally understand writers who like pining deciding it's all too hard and sticking to the tried and true couple tropes, or writers of triads deciding to just have some of the characters not be dumbasses about it to keep things moving.
So.
Some questions for anyone reading this:
Having personal preferences is fine but please try not to put down other people's tastes. There's nothing inherently better or worse about any of these genres and tropes.
Also! If you are another of the apparently rare people who also likes ot3 fic where everyone is a pining dumbass who eventually realises they are loved, check out my ot3 recs and my multi fic, which aren't all this trope but certainly lean that way more than the average. I even tried writing an ot6 fic where everyone is a pining dumbass, which was maybe a bit too ambitious, but it was certainly an interesting challenge, and I'm determined to finish that fic one of these days.
And I am VERY OPEN TO RECS. Including fic which doesn't quite fit my description but is in the general vicinity.
Specifically, while counterexamples exist, the kind of "everyone pines and doubts themselves" romance that is ubiquitous in romances about two people is almost entirely absent in romances about three people.
And I'm curious to know if other people (a) agree that this difference is real and if so (b) have any idea why it exists.
First: I'm talking about stories which focus on the formation of a new, happy romantic relationships between two or three people. In what I'm calling "couple romance", it's about two people. In what I'm calling "triad romance", three people form a relationship with each other and noone else. There's lots of other kinds of polyamourous romance, but this is the sort I read the most of, and while I think these trends apply more broadly it's simpler to keep the question narrow.
I'm not talking about established relationship stories, porn/erotica which focusses on sex/sexiness, or dramatic stories which involve romantic relationships but don't really fit the romance genre. I think the relative prevalence of these is also an interesting question, though.
Second: the kind of romantic story I am looking at the prevalences of involves characters who have certain kinds of tropey emotional issues interfering with their ability to form the romantic relationship the story is about: they doubt that anyone could love them, they are oblivious to the other character's interest etc, and generally end up pining for most of the story. And then in the happy ending they find out they were wrong and that they are loved. The kind of thing that drives the conflict in a lot of conventional couple romance, especially the mutual pining type. I know this is an ambiguous description, and that pining, being self doubting, being oblivious etc are all different things which may show up separately. But I am having articulating exactly what I mean, so hopefully you get the general idea.
My observation is that couple romances very frequently have everyone in the couple be this kind of character/have this kind of arc, but triad romances almost never do.
I've seen a moderate amount of triad stories which kinda mimic couple romances: A/B pine for each other while C is a happy well-adjusted matchmaker with no self doubt, or A pines for the couple B/C and they pine for A as a couple but have no conflict or doubt between themselves within the A/B couple.
But the most common situation I've seen is that everyone is well adjusted and self confident about the relationship, or the protagonist self-doubtingly pines for two well-adjusted, happy people.
And what I almost never see is A, B, and C all having feelings for each other and ALL feeling self doubt about how to act on it, whether the others are interested, etc only to have everyone realise they're loved in the end.
And I don't know why!
The reason I care about this is that I love stories about pining dumbasses of the sort I've described, and I also love polyfic, and I find it surprising and frustrating that there's lots of both of these things but almost nothing in the intersection. BUT I am not saying this is an objectively bad situation, or something that can be "fixed". Obviously people have different tastes to me, and that's ok. But having noticed the difference, I got curious as to why things are this way!
Now, here's the possible explanations I can think of, some or all of which may apply simultaneously:
1) The people who like couple romance are generally not the same as the ones who like triad romance, and have different tastes.
2) Even people who like both are looking for different things from each type.
3) The two genres have very different histories, which has led to different genre expectations.
4) These tropes are easier to fit into a couple romance, and difficult to write for a triad.
Now (1) and (2) definitely don't apply to me, as someone who likes both couple and triad fic and likes the same kinda of story either way. But we're talking about broad trends not any one individual's preference. And I can imagine that for a lot of people, if they're seeking out conventional romantic tropes such as mutual pining, they'll look in couple fic, even if they seek out triad fic for other kinds of stories. Triad fic is somewhat unconventional by it's nature, and so, relatively speaking, invites more unconventional plots and more readers with unconventional tastes.
Also, polyfic tends to be more popular with polyamorous people. Are we, as a group, inclined towards different tropes due to our different preferences and experiences with romance? I haven't noticed any trend amongst the people I know into romance beyond polyamorous people being more often into polyamnourous romance and also maybe more into kinky erotica?
Or are polyfic trends driven more by monogamous people? They might still be the majority. Like, making something up of the top of my head...maybe fans of triad romance enjoy it as a sort of romantic fantasy of Being Loved By More People, disconnected from their actual romantic preferences and experiences. All kinds of stuff could be going on.
As for 3, I'm a bit fuzzy on the specific history of polyamorous romance in fic and in general, but obviously couple romance is the more established and conventional genre. Here's some unsupported theorising: From what I can see, published polyamourous romance is mostly erotica, which tends to gloss over the messy parts of romance to get to the sex. Polyfic is more varied, but looking up the fanlore page the earliest examples only go back to 1980 and were, again, mostly porn for a long time. I guess growing out of porn might make the genre lean towards everyone working through their issues quickly, even when people are writing G rated stuff? There's also the strand of polyfic which is written by polyamorous people wanting Positive Representation, which afaict leans towards everyone being well adjusted and happy.
In the other direction of course is the question: why do writers of couple fic write so many pining self hating dumbasses? Is it less that the nature of triad romance discourages that kind of fic, and more that couple fic encourages it? Is it the simplicity of two people finding acceptance and love in each other? It because Mutual Pining Couple is such an established trope?
From me, at least, 4 is absolutely true. It's way more complex wrangling the messy feelings of A/B, A/C, B/C and A/B/C and having them all come together in a satisfying way than it is to just have to worry about A/B. I mean personally I also enjoy how much more scope for romantic angst there is when, like, A and B realise they're in love but then worry they'll hurt C's feelings so say nothing, meanwhile C is pining over them both and thinks A/B is already established so they've lost their chance, etc. But I totally understand writers who like pining deciding it's all too hard and sticking to the tried and true couple tropes, or writers of triads deciding to just have some of the characters not be dumbasses about it to keep things moving.
So.
Some questions for anyone reading this:
- If you've read both triad and couple fic, have you noticed this trend too?
- If you're someone who prefers couple romance to triad romance, or vice versa, how do you feel about the sort of pining/self doubting character/arc I've described?
- If you like both couple and triad fics, do you have the same sorts of preferences for both when it comes to romantic arcs etc, or different? If different, why do you think that is?
- Do you think I'm right that polyfic as a genre has been heavily influenced by the tropes of porn and fluffy representation? Are there other influences I'm missing?
- Have you tried writing polyfic with this kind of dynamic and found it harder? Does the difficulty put you off, even if you like the idea in principle? Does something about couple fic make you feel more likely to write these kinds of tropes?
- Do you agree with my analysis? Any other explanations for this trend that you can think of that I missed?
- Any other thoughts on how polyfic differs (or doesn't) from fic about two person relationships?
Having personal preferences is fine but please try not to put down other people's tastes. There's nothing inherently better or worse about any of these genres and tropes.
Also! If you are another of the apparently rare people who also likes ot3 fic where everyone is a pining dumbass who eventually realises they are loved, check out my ot3 recs and my multi fic, which aren't all this trope but certainly lean that way more than the average. I even tried writing an ot6 fic where everyone is a pining dumbass, which was maybe a bit too ambitious, but it was certainly an interesting challenge, and I'm determined to finish that fic one of these days.
And I am VERY OPEN TO RECS. Including fic which doesn't quite fit my description but is in the general vicinity.