It occurs to me that one of the many recent areas of misunderstanding in the debate on dogpiling was that one side was hearing 'I don't like being backed into a corner, so I'm going to tell you you're being rude to do it' when what the other side was trying to say was 'I've found I'm more persuasive when I leave other people a graceful way out'.

Absolutely. Though I find when I point out things like that, it is pointed out to me that (for example) some people clearly do mean "I don't like being backed into a corner, so I'm going to tell you you're being rude to do it", which makes everyone else look suspect. (Did I mention that everyone sucks?)